I bring home a trapped coyote and let it loose in the kitchen.
Hackles up. Teeth bared. Pissing on the floor.
My wife says, "Get it out."
I tell her that is a very unwelcoming and unchristian way to speak about a future house pet.
The children back into the hallway.
I tell them it's a rescue.
I tell them fences are fear.
I tell them cages are barbaric.
I tell them the old rules were cruel.
I tell them it will domesticate in time.
Then I grab my lunchbox and leave them to live with my principles.
When I get home, there is blood on the floor, and the experts who sold me on compassion are already explaining why nobody could have seen this coming.
Anyway, that's Western migration policy.
Ollie Watkins was asked about the criticism of Jeremy Doku for saying he wants to leave the Belgium camp for the birth of his first child.
Doku's wife Shireen is due to give birth during the second week of July. His intention to be with her has brought criticism from some.
I used to play Xbox 360 late into the morning when I was in school. My parents found out and started turning the router off at night.
Amazingly they didn’t require a parliamentary majority and royal assent.
'When do you suppose Sir Keir will take the knee? And all the football players?'
'Don't hold your breath.'
@NickFerrariLBC reacts to the bodycam footage of Henry Nowak's death, and the 'day of shame' it's brought on Hampshire police.
🚨🚨'I'm SICK and TIRED of it ALL!'
Norman Brennan is close to TEARS as he discusses the police arresting Henry Nowak for racially aggravated assault whilst he bled to death at the hands of Vickrum Digwa.
'They have got BLOOD on their HANDS!'
@NormanBrennan | @jkyleofficial
I’m stuck between wanting Arsenal to be 3-0 down inside 20 minutes and getting absolutely humiliated, or them losing to a 95th minute OG.
I want them to suffer, but I’m unsure in the way I want it to happen.