Malik Powell

Interim Head Writer @ITYSL. ALL-improv team. 6MOTY joke writer. *tweets are all jokes

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

@Complex Is that what he calls his toothbrush?

[Shams Charania @ShamsCharania]

BREAKING: The Los Angeles Clippers are nearing deal sending Kawhi Leonard to the Toronto Raptors for Brandon Ingram, Gradey Dick, 2 first-round picks, 1 pick swap and 2 second-rounders, sources tell ESPN. A return to Canada for the Raptors champion and two-time Finals MVP.

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

Mandatory post-Osmows dumps.
2/4

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

On my 3rd 15 minute shit today. Lord please forgive me

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

Will Rob Dillingham do something this season? I. Don’t. Know.

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

Malik #malik

[Shams Charania @ShamsCharania]

BREAKING: Boston, Atlanta and Brooklyn are finalizing a three-team trade that sends Kristaps Porzingis and a second-round pick to the Hawks, Terance Mann and Atlanta's No. 22 pick to the Nets, and Georges Niang and a second-rounder to the Celtics.

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

Canadian drivers are such animals…

I just got brake checked by 2 geese.

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

My car be like:

Low gas
Low coolant
Low washer fluid.

Damn how bout you watch your own pockets.

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

Gas at $1.18 boutta drink from the nozzle!

WE ONLY DRINKING PREMIUM ROUND HERE

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

I punch in early and walk to the bathroom like I’m a title defender on the main card.

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

James Cameron revealed his wife cried for 4 hours after watching the new avatar sequel…

She then continued to cry for another 3 hours and 22 minutes as she had only watched the opening credits.

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

Every time I see an ambulance fly past me with its sirens on, in my head my brain softly whispers “save them”

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

Seeing Cleveland at 50-10 puts into perspective just how crazy 2016’ Warriors record was.

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

Wowww lmao saw 3 cyber trucks in a row!! Buying a lotto max.

#duttymusktruckluck

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

Doug Ford if you text me one more time, bro.

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

If you gonna drive a cyber truck at least keep it clean.

#duttymusktruck

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

Just know if I send you this photo it means I’m about to crash out.

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

Maybe it’s just me I don’t know… I feel like Disney dropped the ball on the whole Ratatouille world.

Remy easily could’ve tackled sports, crypto even fashion.

We’re just… we’re not reaching BIG enough anymore.

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

I don’t like how quick a band-aid gets dirty

[Malik Powell @_malikpowell]

Can’t change my mind but the word “ALAS” is a top 10 word.