MASON2G

he/him hacked @ a billion :(

[Mark Asch @MarkAschParody]

shot bolt upright at 5am with a vision of Conan wandering through the Backrooms in the Oscars cold open

[MASON2G @_mason2g]

Cart Simpson

[turbomander @turbomander]

no shade but personally after riding through the entire desert i would’ve given the horse a name

[Malcolm Harris @BigMeanInternet]

How much money do you think Chappell Roan has turned down from Little Caesar's? $5 million? More?

[MASON2G @_mason2g]

eleven stooges.

[josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99]

In comedy, there's a "rule of three". That's why there's "three" Stooges, and not, say, 1,000,000.

[Isaac @isaacturnersong]

You are none other than a hound dog

[Nuke @megab00f]

You can ruin your entire life by listening to a sad song at the wrong moment or waiting one day too many to speak your truth. You can salvage it with one night of moderate to extreme substance abuse.

[Laurence @ibeonline]

(after being avoidant and vague)
i could not have been clearer

[matt @mattybtweets69]

She’s no Stranger to my Thing. Season 5.

[Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz]

People only like you because of your actions and personality dude. That stuff isn't the real you

[carl 🥦 @NightlifeMingus]

(“Losing My Religion”) that’s Lisa and Homer / that’s Maggie and Bart, Marge, Santa’s Little Helper

[split peabrain soup @capykater]

Sorry I shouldn’t diagnose you but you’re Bananas I fear!!!!!!!

[Dr. R. J. Vein @VeinRichard]

(trying to soft launch my true form) Oh man you should come over, there's this creature at my place that you're going to love

[MASON2G @_mason2g]

watching Instagram reels at the stoplight

[bigsock @biggersocks]

the evil clock when i turn my phone sideways

[ms wiener mcgee @fartbuttsex30]

stop eating steaks with fakes and start eating macaroni with the one and only

[christover @bored2die]

U have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible

[toad @thelifeoftoad]

I’m bye curious. I want to leave

[rue yi @ruebytwo]

People in nyc are like let me know if you’re ever in nyc

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

if I was a pro athlete i’d be trying so hard to make a catchphrase stick. national anthem isn’t over and i’m screaming “let’s get delicious”