matteo

56 impressions on my posts in the last 7 days 🔥💪

[matteo @_matte0_0]

everybody’s always complaining about the Boy who cried Wolf, but they couldn’t care less about the the wolf who cried Boy

[matteo @_matte0_0]

@ATiMWalt2 @grok say April Fools

[matteo @_matte0_0]

Hey @grok … what do I do if somebody Funged my Tokens??

[matteo @_matte0_0]

grok, since WHEN do i have to pay to ask you stuff??

[matteo @_matte0_0]

bro. shut up. i don’t have a sports gambling problem. i control it. i only bet on Bones Days.

[matteo @_matte0_0]

@girlforpunching why are you not subscribed to YFM

[matteo @_matte0_0]

In a dream last night I got insulted for ordering vinegar on a salad

[matteo @_matte0_0]

brooo you’re gonna love hanging out with Jeremy, he’s the fungus

[matteo @_matte0_0]

Jim Sinegal I’d like to give you a kiss on the lips

[matteo @_matte0_0]

why is it that when i have a headache, the only thing the voice in my head knows how to say is “ohhhh my head hurts. aghhhh my head hurts.”

[matteo @_matte0_0]

@topicalsteroids i tried asking this and they said no :(

[matteo @_matte0_0]

wait wait damn it i had a really good tweet idea but i forgot

[matteo @_matte0_0]

using the mamava breastfeeding pod in the airport rn to watch ryan’s toy reviews without getting laughed at. not letting that happen again.

[matteo @_matte0_0]

@ATiMWalt2 what is this about

[matteo @_matte0_0]

@erigney11 I don’t want to be, I have to be

[matteo @_matte0_0]

@busdurrr the voice pierced through the noise cancellation on my headphones

[matteo @_matte0_0]

saw something that made me cry today.

walked by someone wearing a hat similar to this one below.

truly heartbreaking—what is this world coming too.

[matteo @_matte0_0]

@imwindfollowing First!

[matteo @_matte0_0]

@imwindfollowing please god i hope this isn’t a real quote