Patti Mayonnaise

she/they | ♓️☀️ ♊️🌙 ♈️⬆️

[Yammy McPhee @mamichampu__]

Americans voting for whoever gives them a false sense of security so they can go back to ignoring the crimes the very people they elect into office commit against the global south is a tale as old as time

[Andy Herren @AndyHerren]

Time to move on! It’s what he’d want!

[erinspresso @riverindaIe]

imagine you’re joe alwyn. your only form of income is residuals from conversations with friends. you’re bracing yourself for your lunatic ex to eviscerate you for 16 songs. then all she calls you is broke and depressed then says she’s gonna khs over a 2 month situationship

[Patti Mayonnaise @_meganmcgee]

@CanadianGirl___ @RendleRachael @scorplanes Imagine paying to be verified on Twitter and then calling someone else pathetic

[michaela okland @MichaelaOkla]

I cannot believe buccal fat removal is a trend rn . you are telling me that my exact type in women is currently being slaughtered day by day and I have to just sit here and know about it

[Patti Mayonnaise @_meganmcgee]

This is the kinda fancyfree personality that lands you in debt

[Patti Mayonnaise @_meganmcgee]

The pandemic has made my relationship with money so weird like I don’t care anymore. Just put it on the card nothing is real anyway

[Patti Mayonnaise @_meganmcgee]

Update you probably shouldn’t do this lmao

[Patti Mayonnaise @_meganmcgee]

@AddyMadison @bathesnboytears Inchresting 🤓

[Patti Mayonnaise @_meganmcgee]

@bathesnboytears I’ve been dropping the ball

[Patti Mayonnaise @_meganmcgee]

@bathesnboytears Mostly I’m just glad someone else is invested because I have no one other than my girl to talk about it with

[Patti Mayonnaise @_meganmcgee]

@bathesnboytears Liv and I were at each other’s necks about who was at fault during the reunion 😭 remind me to grill you and Wes about this tomorrow

[Patti Mayonnaise @_meganmcgee]

@nturci0s Miss you ♥️ I hope all is well

[Patti Mayonnaise @_meganmcgee]

Talking my cat through the Beanie Feldstein/Lea Michele drama

[Patti Mayonnaise @_meganmcgee]

@AddyMadison @bathesnboytears I don’t claim this season

[Patti Mayonnaise @_meganmcgee]

@AddyMadison What was the reason!

[Patti Mayonnaise @_meganmcgee]

Sixth grader just asked me if I listen to mitski and I feel like if I answer I’m confessing to something lol

[Patti Mayonnaise @_meganmcgee]

@MakaylaJohnz @Potatoluvr420 @chunkbardey Same birthday and even I forget about it sometimes

[➹ @CARDIXTOWN]

no way y'all are signing petitions as if that would stop a whole WAR

[trash jones @jzux]

me, age 22 (hopeful): anything can happen!

me now (horrified): anything can happen