meme-y

too thot to trot

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

the thing i do miss about wearing contacts instead of glasses is being able to cry in public and then blame it on "my contacts acting up"

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

ppl who think the lion king is “just hamlet with lions” are the reason we need better English education smdh where the fuck in hamlet does he meet two laid-back wise-cracking stoner types who convince him to stop worrying and then ophelia has to go ask him to come back to denmark

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

WATCHING THE PEOPLE V. OJ SIMPSON W/ MY DAD BE LIKE

dad:

me: tag urself oj simpsons dream team! i’m barry scheck cuz i always say dna is the only reliable forensic evidence & also my bangs, you’re f. lee bailey cuz u were big in the 70s and u hate cops

dad: who is oj?

me: uh

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

ok but tell me WHY no one is talking abt this! this is all i’ve been thinking abt for the past two days!what is the POINT of this site if no one is gonna cyberbully kylie for copying rihanna’s outfit? suddenly we’re above that kind of behavior? smdh i gotta do everything myself

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

my mom: we’re gonna have to repaint your room a neutral color when we sell the house

me: that’s fine as long as you don’t take down my posters

mom: it all has to come down

me: yeah i guess, i mean except for the Buffy one obviously, that’s only going to add to the resale value

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

is maple syrup a sauce

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

me every time i say tracy morgan’s last name: *has to think for a second if it’s actually jordan*

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

smth i think abt a lot: when my cousin told us that her roommate left for 6 mos to be on the Amazing Race and then he ended up WINNING & so we all waited for the season to air for 3 years until the whole family just slowly realized she’d been lied to but none of us said anything

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

mom: the movie Desperately Seeking Susan is the only good thing Madonna’s ever done

me: excuse you, Material Girl is such a good song

dad:*scoffs* really, Sharyn

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

no one is EVER as upset as I am about the things that upset me

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

*goes to a hibachi restaurant*
*pulls out a book*

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

i’m gonna open up a karaoke bar where we only offer songs performed and/or written by women. men can be patrons but they can only sing “Man! I Feel Like a Woman” by Shania Twain. if you don’t believe in this idea i’m sorry ur not a visionary

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

i’m truly sry 4 another tweet about the kardashians but i’ve been thinking about this for weeks... is khloé mocking people who have low atm balances? is this cultural appropriation? is she presenting it as anthropological research at a conference for rich people? i need answers

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

i honestly find it so insulting that things marketed to women (magazines, beauty products, clothes) assume an interest in astrology, i swear next they’re gonna start selling sequin pouches and gold necklaces that say “Vaccines Cause Autism”

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

i LOVE 2 report content. if i see content i find offensive: REPORTED❌💁‍♀️BITCH🚫💅 i’ll even report the reporting process if it’s too difficult or confusing! letterboxd’s is gr8, instagram’s is bad. which ofc i know bc i’m a whistleblower!! who watches the watchmen?? ME, bitch!!!

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

people who like billie eilish make me feel so old

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

in the future everyone will be canceled for 15 minutes

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

it’s not fair to ask me what my greatest fear is, it’s like asking a mother to pick her least favorite child

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

I’M SCREAMING MY DAD SAW THE CATS TRAILER AND DOESN’T SEE A PROBLEM WITH IT BECAUSE “They’re clearly moving like dancers” WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN HOW DO YOU PASS CAPTCHA TESTS TO CONFIRM UR HUMAN AND ALSO HAVE THIS REACTION HE LITERALLY SAID “Looks like Cats to me!” PAUL!!!!!!!!

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

me at uchicago: agh there’s only so many hours in a day!

me on medical leave: yikes... there really are so many hours in a day

[meme-y @_mimitaylor]

@Dmel_nwk