Morgan Webb 👑

❤️👼🏼🤱🏼

[Morgan Webb 👑 @_morganwebb]

I may have had a lot of struggles in my life but I've overcome every one so far and I don't plan on stopping now

[elie @cabbitmoder]

"i hate men"
"even me ? 🥺"
especially you

[Loky @lokymann]

Co-parenting a pet with an ex

[sanswant @royal_bobby24]

@blexicanasfff Cool to have party friends. But do you have "Testify in court for you" friends

[Echo 🔆 @TheEcho13]

Any time a man says that his wife doesn’t want to sleep with him or is ‘always too tired’ the first thing I ask is ‘well, what gets her fired up? What makes her want to have sex with you?’

99/100 times he can’t answer the question. He doesn’t know.

That’s the problem.

[Morgan Webb 👑 @_morganwebb]

@hp4life0008 .. wait is that what happens to me?! I assumed the memory loss was just from drinking

[Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer]

I love it when you tell someone repeatedly that their behavior will render an outcome they won’t like and yet—-they continue that same behavior.

We are about to reach the Find Out portion of the program folks.

[Hannah Al-Othman @HannahAlOthman]

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

[Kristy Tillman @KristyT]

I try to look information up for myself before asking others.

[dinosaur @dinosaurs1969]

that probly feels so good if ur a vegetable

[Papa Woof und Krampus und Bleaken @woofknight]

Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help.

[Bummer T. Vibes, Esq @VibesBummer]

Someone in 1983: they’ll cure cancer in my lifetime

2024: the best I can give you is oreo cookies inside of coca cola

[mimi ⸆⸉ ❤️‍🔥 @watchinwisteria]

I'm going to tell every republican I meet that I am voting for Kamala Harris because Taylor Swift told me too just so I can watch them combust

[god’s favorite dipshit @JessInAbsentia]

“how can i listen to foo fighters knowing dave cheated on his wife?”

boy do i have something to tell you about the lead singer of every band, ever

[Morgan Webb 👑 @_morganwebb]

@hp4life0008 Being someone’s third is actually like my worst nightmare I think lmao

[Аlex Hobson @AHobsonMedia]

If you’re drunk and need to get home, CALL A FUCKING UBER. Two kids are growing up without a dad, parents have lost two sons, & a sister now has to grieve the loss of her two brothers on her wedding day all because somebody decided to get behind the wheel drunk in 2024. Senseless

[One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom]

Me: We really need to be better about our language around the kids.

Husband: why?

3 year old snuggles down on the couch with a blanket: *whispers* this is cozy as fuck.

Husband: I see.

[Morgan Webb 👑 @_morganwebb]

Not me reading through old messages bawling my eyes out 🥲

[Morgan Webb 👑 @_morganwebb]

Laying with Aspyn waiting for her to fall asleep and all of a sudden she says “imagine us with no skin? No flesh?” Like can we not 😂