Dwight Schrute

Penny’s mom
#coolgirlhair specialist

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

@realDonaldTrump What are you currently doing to help the country through this pandemic? Golfing and bitching that you lost...and you wonder why no one voted for you? Get fucked

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

@realDonaldTrump @marklevinshow You do realize we literally all fucking hate you right? You didn’t lose because of “stolen votes” mr orange. You lost because you the fuck suck. You’re a disgrace.

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

A clown. A coward. A pedophile. A PIG...that palette be ugly as all hell too. Pride month or not, you are a disgrace to our community.

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

@realDonaldTrump send nudes?

[Jeffree Star @JeffreeStar]

I’m going to give away $30,000 to 1 random person who retweets this tweet AND follows Twitter Philanthropist @Pulte and Me!! (If you don’t follow us, we can’t DM you the money) Will show proof! Much love

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

when you care more about your Instagram aesthetic than your child don’t question why you’re considered trash.

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

@saloneducation Matt can you PLEASE do a video on a modern wearable take on a fashion mullet? Think Yolandi Visser thanks a million

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

all I want is to look like season 3 gossip girl Jenny Humphrey that’s literally all I want

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

When you hit the point in a breakup where you get a tinder and then immediately delete it because every single fucker is ugly and you’re like nope I give up forever.

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

sometimes I get lonely and then I remember at least I’m not being put through hell by a manipulative narsisst anymore

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

I can’t wait for summer I need a drink with an umbrella and my feet in the sand 😭

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

Block his ass and love yourself instead

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

I think the hardest part about putting myself back out there is finding someone who will accept me as a mother bc my daughter comes first, always.

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

Your girl got approved for a HOUSE today. Without any help from anyone.

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

Something life changing is in the works.

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

Okay relationship status is single but don’t fucking talk to me unless you look like Chuck Bass

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

Here’s 10% off your first purchase at Glossier! Beauty basics that leave you fresh and glowing right away. https://t.co/M4p0Eh9OpQ

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

My poor skin I’ve had more wine than water this week and slept in my makeup two nights in a row who the fuck am I

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

To faux tan or not to tan...

[Dwight Schrute @_narddog]

Just want a mom Bff that’s it