Lil Seizures

intrusive thoughts

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

Kim literally saw Kourtney and Megan Fox getting attention and said “I gotta get me one of those”

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

@riteekakharel @Aku_700 Are you stupid

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

As my Alma mater, The Kelley School of Business, sinks lower in the rankings
year over year, I will begrudgingly accept a Heisman in consolation.

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

If you don’t know what to say to a guy you can always say “city boys upP” they love it

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

Would you date a guy who doesn’t like the beastie boys

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

SpongeBob SquarePants meal at Burger King

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

Betrayed by Spotify wrapped year after year

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

@jjreeves @LordTristes @JVickey89904 Yes the kids are optional.

Lol I’m sure she could’ve tried harder. But she’s still allowed to be upset. Why are your panties in a bunch over it

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

Always chasing that high of the one time I got a good haircut

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

People will really look you in the eye and tell you you shouldn’t be the menendez brothers for Halloween 3 years in a row

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

I am once again petitioning the community to include Chicago Parking Enforcement in our “Fuck ICE” discourse

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

All I do is gain weight and not get the jobs I’ve done 4 rounds of interviews for

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

If you’re going on hinge dates these days a good screening question would be asking men if they like Taylor Swift

I think TS triggers an overly emotional response from some of those red flag boizZz

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

My phone is for me to watch tik tok and play solitaire, not for people I know to text and call me

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

When AI takes your job they should give
you an option to make a little money running in a hamster wheel all day to power the AI

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

Every has-been reality star, influencer, and D list celeb has a podcast. Like who is listening to all these podcastsSsSs. I need to know

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

I spill a little coffee in the elevator every day to keep it smelling nice

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

And whyYy is Alexa so verbose

Why say many words when few do trick

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

Why does the post office smell that way

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

Why isn’t there more room for my foot on the stairmaster I’m CLUMSY

[Lil Seizures @_ricky_dicky_]

Y’all really out here waiting for the other person to stop talking before you start talking?