Alex

I do Twitter the same as I do everything else. I half ass it

[Alex @_sSear]

I’m so glad I’m handsome enough to not have to deny human space travel

[Alex @_sSear]

JJK’s walking shots have more animation than the entirety of one frame man s3 im so annoyed

[Alex @_sSear]

Would love to see the bodyca…. Oh wait I forgot yall are serial retards

[Homeland Security @DHSgov]

While law enforcement officers were conducting a targeted operation to arrest a serial criminal illegal alien whose rap sheet includes multiple arrests for assault, domestic violence, and driving under the influence, an agitator began stalking and obstructing law enforcement.

Our officers attempted to pull her over using their emergency lights to issue her a warning. Ignoring law enforcement commands, the agitator refused to pull over and began driving recklessly including running stop signs, nearly colliding with multiple vehicles, and driving directly at law enforcement in an attempt to ram their vehicle. Her actions endangered law enforcement officers, the public, and allowed this violent criminal to remain at large.

Our officers arrested her. Obstructing law enforcement is a felony and a federal crime.

[Alex @_sSear]

I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone try to speedrun a losing lawsuit

[inhuman resources @inhumandept_vp]

One employee asked if she could stay fully remote.

She said she’s more productive at home and has to care for her parents.

I told her "Absolutely." We’re flexible and parents health comes first.

She can stay remote, but we requested her to still come in once a month to “stay connected to the culture.”

She smiled with relief and agreed immediately.

She booked her train for the next three months in advance.

What she doesn’t know is that our layoff spreadsheet has a column called “Office Presence.”

Anyone with fewer than four badge swipes a month gets auto-colored yellow.

Let's just say that my 2026 Q2 "workforce reshaping program" is on track.

[Alex @_sSear]

Can’t wait to gamble on being able to leave my home soon

[PredictionMarketTrader @PredMTrader]

Today's White House Press Briefing had a 98% chance of running over 65 minutes - until Karoline Leavitt abruptly ended it with seconds to spare.

Traders on the NO side made 50x in seconds.

[Alex @_sSear]

Why are truck drivers always disabled?

[Alex @_sSear]

@gabrielahdzzz Must seek landlord approval from now on before using utensils

[Alex @_sSear]

All I know is any medical problems I have between ages 26-30 will not be seeing any attention

[Alex @_sSear]

Pretty sure they’re just polling White House staff on his cleanliness

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

🚨NEW POLL🚨

57.11% of Americans APPROVE of President Trump!

MAGA!

[Alex @_sSear]

This would be valid if the top challengers teams weren’t mostly made up of pros dropped from the league. The league desperately needs NEW talent, not the 7th iteration of Fire40 and Paulehx

[CDL Rant @CDLRant]

A Halo pro getting hyped for a CDL spot and being told “he’ll learn respawn” is actually insane.

While Challengers players who’ve grinded for years, know the game, and play high-level team COD get ignored.

Friendship League is still in full effect.

[Alex @_sSear]

Why they got punisher dressed up as Paula D

[That REDACTED Guy @REDACTEDSpider]

Holy fucking shit

[Alex @_sSear]

Guess csgo wild, savethekids, and the damn near 50 crypto scams this guy promoted blindly don’t count. Bitch made @Banks

[Alex @_sSear]

Would like to clarify that I did not hate the idea Jack

[Alex @_sSear]

@Stev6_00 @CaiminBlac @ChaseForLiberty 1925-Colorized

[Alex @_sSear]

Personally grannie woulda gone head first don’t know why we acting like he slamming her on cement.

[Say it pop @Sayitpop]

Kid pushes an old woman into a lake for trying to smack him. Is this acceptable?

[Alex @_sSear]

@debbiesuetooo @Ilhan 2/10 ragebait. JD said it’s your turn in between the cushions tonight.

[Alex @_sSear]

This Elongated Cuck guy definitely laughs at his jokes and is really happy to call a meme dank

[Alex @_sSear]

I know I said no more women but I have the flu and if a kind lady wanted to come take care of me while I’m sick I’d probably pledge myself to you

[Alex @_sSear]

This adds up to 0.0000249549% of the annual U.S military budget btw.

[Department of Government Efficiency @DOGE]

How the U.S. Government Spent your Tax Dollars in 2024:

-State Department spent $2.1 million on border security—for Paraguay.
-USAID is spending $20 million on “Ahlan Simsim” a new Sesame Street show in Iraq
-The National Endowment for the Arts awarded the Bearded Ladies Cabaret a
$10,000 grant to support a cabaret show on ice skates focused on climate change

Source:
https://t.co/CXbj6QnWg2

[Soze Faizon Blanco @TheHumanDurag]

Scott pilgrim crazy as hell. I’m not fighting 7 niggas over one girl who work at amazon