Samantha Berlin

[Samantha Berlin @_sarcaSAM_]

Companies: urgently hiring
Me: applies, fully qualified, even included a cover letter

Companies: *crickets*

[Samantha Berlin @_sarcaSAM_]

@mebemaddie My cross county flight? Less than 200. My flight from north cal to south cal? Over 300.

[Samantha Berlin @_sarcaSAM_]

Failed my law test just in time for my birthday ���😍😍

[Samantha Berlin @_sarcaSAM_]

I miss social interaction 😩

[Samantha Berlin @_sarcaSAM_]

Someone tell me it’s not worth being petty bc I’m contemplating ruining my ex friend group by exposing a huge secret 🤭

[Samantha Berlin @_sarcaSAM_]

Can you sue parents for loans? Fuckin forced me to go to a private college, forced me to take out loans I didn’t want, and now I’m stuck with basically a mtg at 24. Fuck you max.

[Samantha Berlin @_sarcaSAM_]

I might actually hold the world record for how many men have fucking ghosted me 🥲🥲🥲🥲

[Sarah Lazarus @sarahclazarus]

hey this is CVS. we filled your prescription. can u come pick it up in the next 17 seconds or should we light it on fire in the parking lot

[Samantha Berlin @_sarcaSAM_]

Where y’all be finding people who actually wanna go out and do things instead of sit home all the damn time?! 🙃

[Samantha Berlin @_sarcaSAM_]

Why is ghosting still a thing? Friendships and relationships… I literally don’t get it.

[Samantha Berlin @_sarcaSAM_]

@B_R_Langston Let me know how you do this? 😂

[Samantha Berlin @_sarcaSAM_]

This guy DM’d me and said “unlike the other Jewish girls, you’re actually pretty” 🥴🥴oof do NOT insult the beautiful Jewish ladies out there ✋🏼

[The Office on Peacock @theofficetv]

This is your reminder to drink more water. You're welcome.

[one of ur hoes @miliondollameat]

mental stability is important but not like garlic bread important

[one of ur hoes @miliondollameat]

normalize yelling at the heavens every fourteen seconds

[ELL @Its__Ell]

I really be stressing because i want to do more

[Samantha Berlin @_sarcaSAM_]

Stupid fucking Americans saying “free Palestine” and hating on israel... go read some fucking history 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Samantha Berlin @_sarcaSAM_]

Just tryna be tiktok comment famous

[Samantha Berlin @_sarcaSAM_]

The only thing I miss about college is the afternoon naps

[one of ur hoes @miliondollameat]

massive dumptruck ass parking only