SelfControlSerg

[SelfControlSerg @_serdolfcia]

2 things I hate, people who blame their parents for everything wrong in their lives, and coke heads 🙏🏽

[Tim Dillon @TimJDillon]

Use the last 3 days of the year to call up people you haven’t spoken to in ten years and ask them how they think Princess Diana really died.

[SelfControlSerg @_serdolfcia]

Why does everyone who smokes cigarettes decide to hot box the fuvking porta potty’s?

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

“Another Conan Funko doll?” – my kids on Christmas morning.

[Joey CoCo Diaz @madflavor]

Rise and Shine cocksucksuckers......Its going to be a great day!

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

What dissolves a body faster, lye or sulfuric acid? Asking for a friend (I’m going to murder).

[SelfControlSerg @_serdolfcia]

Colder than a mfer out here today lmao

[Jeff Lundeen @LundeenOttawa]

Do you remember the world’s very first nuclear meltdown? That time the US President, an expert in nuclear physics, heroically lowered himself into the reactor and saved Ottawa, Canada’s capital?

Sounds like schlocky action movie, but it actually happened!

[SelfControlSerg @_serdolfcia]

HOW LONG CAN THE GOOD TIMES LAST

[Tim Dillon @TimJDillon]

My beautiful Latino fans.

[Big 🐰 @FreddieGibbs]

Too Short already rapped about getting his dick sucked by Nancy Reagan like 30 years ago.

[b @noc_obeisance]

vietnam war snoopy zippos go crazy

[Tim Dillon @TimJDillon]

Jussie Smollet needs support right now, as does anyone who voluntarily eats at Subway. They can’t be held responsible for their actions.

[Tim Dillon @TimJDillon]

There have been more articles about Joe Rogan’s podcast than the biggest human trafficking trial in history.

[Ray Kump @RayKump]

You went to college.

I spent all my money on Magic The Gathering cards and a porn collection that I lost in a fire.

We are the same.

[SelfControlSerg @_serdolfcia]

If you need water to take pills you need to get your life in order.

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

Just a reminder, guns don’t make awful Christmas cards, people make awful Christmas cards.