Kirsten

it’s KEER-sten

[Kirsten @_smartblonde]

@Q1041WTQR Song request! I’m On to You by @TiffanyAshton_ 🎶

[Kirsten @_smartblonde]

@LeahTiscione The bird party option?

[Kirsten @_smartblonde]

The only thing worse than running into people in the bathroom is running into people who try to talk to you in the bathroom. 🙄

[Alexandra Petri @petridishes]

ugh women presidents take so long to get ready
literally 227 years

[The Cultured Ruffian @CulturedRuffian]

Doctor: You've just woke up from a coma, you broke multiple bones and I had to take an X-Ray.

[ shows me X-Ray ]

Me: DELETE IT.

[Bʀɪᴀɴɪᴀᴄ® @BGH70]

I am exasperated by your effervescent exuberance.

[Kirsten @_smartblonde]

@imBOUTitBOUTit That'll do... For now #kinseykhronicles

[Reese Witherspoon @ReeseW]

How a Southern girl makes dinner, courtesy of @draperjames & @mydomaine 😂💙#HoneyBakedHam https://t.co/BxmlDmpByZ

[Kirsten @_smartblonde]

We'll miss you, Alan Rickman. Always.

[Steven W Skinner @SkinnerSteven]

Interrupters are into "but-" stuff

[Amy Dillon @amydillon]

I thought I was just really tired but it's been 5 years so I guess this is how I look now.

[Kirsten @_smartblonde]

#spiritanimal

[Kirsten @_smartblonde]

Ham photo shoot: the only time someone can say "hey come check out this butt" at work and not get reported to HR

[Kirsten @_smartblonde]

Would gorging on bread be considered....glutenous?

[Kirsten @_smartblonde]

Sometimes I'm a strong independent woman that don't need no man... Other times there's a wasp flying around my room. #SOS

[Kirsten @_smartblonde]

Best. Day. Ever. @theskimm #hireme #reallythough

[Kirsten @_smartblonde]

Dude at @DunkinDonuts just asked if he was fine enough to take me out, then asked me to buy him a breakfast sandwich. #thisisdating

[smug lemur @Smug_Lemur]

It's a lot easier to stop eating carbs once you've come to terms with living a joyless life full of anger and sadness.

[mike ginn @shutupmikeginn]

Sex is like pizza, if you're going to use bbq sauce you better know what the fuck you're doing