trashpanda

[Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti]

I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Olive Garden commercials and then asked it to write an Olive Garden commercial of its own. Here is the first page.

[The St Paul Raccoon @TheStPaulRacco1]

I made a big mistake.

#mprraccoon

[trashpanda @_trashpanda]

@diannaeanderson Someone yelled JUMP at him! 😭 I’m too invested.

[trashpanda @_trashpanda]

@verthandi I actually just got on Twitter solely to look at @bestofnextdoor so I’m glad to see it is full of raccoons. A+

[trashpanda @_trashpanda]

@verthandi I’m thinking of asking about it on NextDoor to see if it belongs to anyone and if so, maybe I can get pictures from its humans.

[trashpanda @_trashpanda]

I saw an orange tabby cat with two tails while I was on my way home from work and I had to pull over to the side of the road to decide if I was fatigue-hallucinating or not.

[trashpanda @_trashpanda]

@verthandi These are so beautiful. 😭

[AR $PIFF @iam_spiffy]

That mf in my group and we got a presentation tomorrow! 🤦🏽‍♂️ https://t.co/wDgvXEovYW

[Babs Gray @BabsGray]

Last night some douchey khaki bros were annoying us at the bar and one put a blazer in our booth so I filled its pockets w cheetos

[🪶🫒🍉🗝️ 𓂆 فلسطين حرة 🇵🇸 هالي @scribehotan]

@_trashpanda https://t.co/pQAGh1H8Zp

[A bear @A_single_bear]

Perks of being a bear:
-Unmonitored napping
-Fur
-Most things are edible
-Not everything, though
-Like, this rock for instance
-It made my teeth sad

[UW Cherry Blossoms @uwcherryblossom]

Good morning, blossom fans. Are you looking forward to meeting me this March? I'm working really hard to reach my full potential. Here's a recent #selfie for now. I hope to make my grand appearance in the next week or so!

[trashpanda @_trashpanda]

@verthandi I basically only check Twitter because you send me raccoon info. 🐼🗑

[bill wurtz @billwurtz]

i found a family of raccoons living in my house. it's me, i'm the raccoons

[tara shoe @tarashoe]

i cannot be MADE to feel a certain way. I ALONE choose my feelings. NOBODY can MAKE me feel bad except MYSELF, the NEWS, and certain banks

[Alastair McAlpine, MD @AlastairMcA30]

For an assignment, I asked some of my terminal paediatric palliative care patients what they had enjoyed in life, and what gave it meaning. Kids can be so wise, y'know. Here are some of the responses (Thread).

[Todd Dracula @ToddDracula]

This man is our president