trixtar hesaynes

dev shapeshifter poet

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Fabipa @fabipa90]

Che anoche fui a ver Joker 2 y esta escena no estaba

[trixtar hesaynes @_trixtar]

No puedo parar de pensar en Carlomagno

[trixtar hesaynes @_trixtar]

@Iberianamerica she speaks like the popular shallow girl in a Hollywood high school movie that doesn't let you sit at her table

[Pelham @Resist_05]

Palestine delivers the greatest speech in modern history at the UN Security Council…🔥

[Tiberius @tiberiusfiles]

I’m looking for around ten million fellow descendants of the Roman Empire to join me in setting up a colony in Italy—our ancestral homeland.

To join, you need to meet the following stringent criteria:

1. Say you descend from Romans

[trixtar hesaynes @_trixtar]

@ndvoskin Tampoco entienden que en Alemania no podés comprar ningún medicamento de venta libre fuera de una farmacia. Todo está súper regulado. Los impuestos son altos y te aseguran la protección del Estado.

[trixtar hesaynes @_trixtar]

Argentina, 2025. Todos los perros menores de 1 año son clones de Conan.

[Nicolás Guthmann @nicoguthmann]

La “Ley Ómnibus” y el DNU son inabarcables a propósito.

La estrategia es que no haya un punto central de discusión, que todos hablemos de temas diferentes, que los menos informados pierdan interés y finalmente que la crítica o la oposición a las medidas sea más difícil.

[Mariano Tilli 💚 @icevainillaice]

Empezamos a analizar el proyecto de ley que presentaron recién en el Congreso.
Sale hilo.

Art. 1. Le piden al Congreso que le delegue amplias facultades y de todo tipo al Presidente.
Que dejara de ser presidente, para ser un monarca.

[trixtar hesaynes @_trixtar]

La revolución será copypasteada

[trixtar hesaynes @_trixtar]

@femmeframe Cuando fui yo no había nadie, entré y voté

[trixtar hesaynes @_trixtar]

RRHH: "Ahora los entrenamientos están gamificados. No se preocupen, no tiene impacto práctico, pero van poder juntar medallitas."

Castellano: "No tenemos ningún incentivo real para darles. Aquí tienen unos píxeles sin valor."

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

Causal understanding of water displacement by a crow
https://t.co/H4s8SO2NeV

[trixtar hesaynes @_trixtar]

@Josephyn_M hermosísima!

[Rami Ayari @Raminho]

NEW: @UNHumanRights NY Office Director @CraigMokhiber resigns in protest over timidity of key parts of #UN system on issues pertaining to Palestinian Human Rights. In letter to @volker_turk he says: "This is a text-book case of genocide. The European, ethno-nationalist, settler colonial project in Palestine has entered its final phase, toward the expedited destruction of the last remnants of indigenous Palestinian life in #Palestine."

[Veerender Singh Jubbal @Veeren_Jubbal]

Thinking about this quote.

[trixtar hesaynes @_trixtar]

@HoyPalestina Rusia a favor de la tregua y Ucrania absteniéndose, en fin, la hipocresía