Vic⚽️

my talents include staying up till 3 am and and forgetting not to swear in front of children

[Vic⚽️ @_vcorbett]

I love sleeping because it's just like dying but less commitment

[Luke Mones @LukeMones]

“actually we’ve met before” okay well I don’t remember you. Have you considered being less forgettable and insignificant

[tia @cursedhive]

i heard she’s not too great live like pls don’t waste yalls time buying tickets to this..

[drew @boyoccultist]

i was not socialized as female, i was socialized as a problem child/emotional wreck

[charlie @chunkbardey]

wish i didn’t love to complain but unfortunately i’m just really good at it. who am i to deny the world my gift

[bri ˚꩜｡⋆₊⊹ @ufobri]

telepathically telling him i miss him https://t.co/t2gWrVvxl5

[Chanandler Bong @Grim_The_Stoner]

"I can change him"

Baby girl change your oil :/

[liyah @hm_liyah]

i kinda like people who trauma dump idk. idc if i just met u 30 mins ago tell me why ur mom lost custody of u i’m curious

[Rod @justme_rod]

*me having a full menty b*

⚠️ Time to BeReal. ⚠️

[Noor ✭ @Noorthevirgo]

Imma start telling guys “I know a spot” and then drop them off at a therapist

[gabitha. @igabitha]

one of my favorite parts about friendship is when you see a weird meme or video and go what the fuck that is so disturbing i hated that? so then you send it to your friend because if you suffered, they must suffer too. if my day ruined, yours too.

[Annie Schulte @annieschulte]

I’m sitting in the ICU because my kid just tried to end her life for the 3rd time in 2 years. Ask me if I care about banning books and pride flags. Ask me if I care about litter boxes that don’t exist at school. I just want my kid to survive long enough to graduate. That’s all.

[Ⓜ️UMMY 💫🌐 @Officia_Evelyn]

I’m sick of breaking generational curses, I’m gonna start creating them

[dana donnelly @danadonnelly]

bf getting a severe nosebleed the same day i get my period? that’s what an ally looks like ladies

[Jack Raines @Jack_Raines]

You've been speaking English your entire life

but did you know that the words you speak are all created from 26 individual letters?

Here are the 26 letters that you MUST know:

[s*d @06fordexplorer]

after attending a wedding this weekend i can confirm i would have to be on multiple drugs to stand in front of my family and confess to loving someone

[emma :o @3mmaL3yva]

i look at my friends locations like they’re my little sims