Mayonnaise Mermaid

Certified Hot Girl™️

[Drámon Verde @delamomanny]

Call me old school but this kinda of kissing should be reserved for strangers in the club

[°*¡Snookie¡*° ° ᵥ_ᵥ° ⚰︎ @_iwearvans_]

@sedderaside This clip killed me 😭😭

[girly&wordly @Brieyonce]

Why she ate her mama up? She said you a suburban girl I’m screaming 😂

[☆ ‧dreamboy·˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

imperial gworl

[Sirena 🦋 🌙 @mauvesbot]

Saying “suck my dick” as a woman is so fun it feels like cosplaying

[capricunt @Ms_AshleeRenee]

google is hiring ppl w no tech experience for tech roles. applications open for two weeks starting may 1.

[Fable⁹¹ @Fablewolf91]

If you think Wellbutrin is dangerous, wait till I tell you about the car company that's recalled nearly half the vehicles it's ever made.

[Mayonnaise Mermaid @_vitaminK]

Nothing like watching people crank that at a polish wedding

[Raygan Kelly @raygank]

For almost ten years I’ve marveled at the spiteful poetic power of the phrase “I will face God and walk backwards into hell”, and only occasionally do I remember that it’s from a dril tweet about hollering at zoo animals.

[dan a @decafdana]

employers: you don't need a union, we have an open door policy

the open door:

[✮⋆𖦹⋆°gαвву’ѕ gяσσνє°❀⋆.ೃ࿔ @g_gabbo23]

Grace Jones and Halle Berry on the set of Boomerang, 1992

[Mayonnaise Mermaid @_vitaminK]

Mean Girls

[eric eidelstein @ericeidelstein]

You're dating someone new and you have the opportunity to show them one movie that encompasses everything there is to know about you — your values, your fantasies, and your fears. What's the film?

[Toni @tonisoleil]

I can’t compete with nobody bm she gave you something I would’ve killed

[¡! @zukosbussy]

@DrewAfualo geminis getting hate for having 2 good personalities when most of you don’t even have 1 let’s talk about it

[Mik | OkSoBoom on 🦋 @OkSoMik]

If I had Chloe’s body, yall would see my ass every day. Crack of dawn, crack of ass.

[Mayonnaise Mermaid @_vitaminK]

How tf my cats got allergies?? You’ve already claimed everything that is mine, and now we gotta have matching Benadryls too ??

[megan @hollowandhome]

Ok, hear me out: you don't have to squash the excitement a young person feels over something they have yet to experience because it is "hard." Example:

[Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker]

In "The Batman," they said Bruce Wayne's parents were murdered in October of 2001. Meaning if you go by release dates, it's possible they were leaving a screening of Zoolander when it happened

[Brian J. Karem @BrianKarem]

Anyone else pissed that our democracy contains politicians who side with authoritarians like Putin?