Zach Ford

Attorney: Fortnite Law

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

https://t.co/rPohwp8JhZ

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

Using the inverted filter for 5 minutes every morning has destroyed any sense of my ego. Highly recommended.

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

Just me or are the edges of lasagna disgusting?

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

Sometimes I wonder what is the point of it all? I’m just some piece of meat wandering this earth losing money on sports betting. Is my anger worth it? Why do I have chronic neck pain? Why does the nfl have such poor officiating? What is the point of life???

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

Even the calls against the seahawks have been trash. There has been little to NO PI WORTHY PLAYS yet this officiating crew is just so trigger happy.

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

More flags than I could have predicted. Unheard of.

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

The shareholders at Verizon are DUMBFOUNDED at why their company sponsored that horrific Jack Harlow halftime show

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

@tinylouferigno Man, i’m just saying what the public is too afraid to say

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

I hate to say this but I might have to boycott apples for a while. I only had 2 but those high-fiber devils were making me fart so much in class today and it was so embarrassing. Not even kidding I was squeezing my anus so tight. It felt like I had IBS or something. Sorry for tmi

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

I’m with old people on this one. Why do they make printers overly complicated? My “HP Deskjet + 4100” is about to get smashed into 4100+ pieces if it don’t print my documents

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

Can someone tell me how to fix my hair because this Arizona weather makes it look like dead grass on a football practice field

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

My 18 year old sister couldn’t even finish watching a 10 second video I tried to show her without looking down at her own phone

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

Pick wisely. The results affect my day

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

This panthers/bears TNF game is so garbage they had to bring out a player from another team to talk about another team

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

@kevin_santero America, I’m grieving with you tonight.

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

America won’t know what to do if the Cowboys beat the Eagles today 😊

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

The 7 year old kid who raided and dumped the entire bowl of candies sitting in front of your house (into his pillow sack) is going to run for Congress in 30 years and win and again rob you once more by voting away your social security.

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

@kade_ogden Brock Purdy when it’s time to be clutch 🏃‍♂️ ✌️ 🚙

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

Not a single person hit me up today to discuss my Cowboys. Not a single head. #1 We are dem boys. #2 Panthers just cost me $100 #3 49ers 3 losses in a row have made my week :)

[Zach Ford @_zach_ford_]

I’ll never understand how people drink their first cup of coffee going out the door. How do you not shit your pants at every red light?