Afolayan🌴🥥

GGMU♥️

[Ayo @Alhajirostova]

American: So there are terrorists causing problems in your country, right?

Nigerian: Yes.

American: That's terrible. Is the government at least doing something about it?

Nigerian: Well, our president addressed the issue.

American: Oh. What did he say?

Nigerian: He spoke about the law of lawf in the holy book

American: ...The law of love?

Nigerian: I guess

American: Okay. Did you send the military after them?

Nigerian: Hmm... at times.

American: What do you mean "at times"?

Nigerian: Sometimes we've heard the military went after them. In some cases, the terrorists ended up killing military personnel.

American: Wait. They killed your soldiers?

Nigerian: Yes.

American: Okay, so then your government retaliated and finished them off, right?

Nigerian: Mm... nah.

American: What do you mean "nah"?

Nigerian: Well, our president also gave an example from the Bible about the prodigal son on how we should accept them with love.

American: Hold on. The prodigal son?

Nigerian: Yes.

American: I'm confused. So you're telling me terrorists killed military personnel, and the response was a Bible lesson?

Nigerian: Something like that.

American: So you guys aren't doing anything?

Nigerian: No, no. We're doing something.

American: Okay. What are you doing?

Nigerian: We're rehabilitating the ones we catch.

American: You're... rehabilitating them?

Nigerian: Yes.

American: Not prosecuting them?

Nigerian: Not according to our president, no.

American: WTF WTF WTF

Nigerian: I never even tell you anything, you don dey cry

[Olamide . @olamide_adee]

The problem with Nigerians is you all actually think you have the same problem as Ghana , South Africa and co

We’re literally on the same level as Congo , South Sudan if not worse .

[Manchester United @ManUtd]

▶️ 'All or Nothing: Manchester United', coming to Amazon Prime Video in 2027.

[The Touchline | 𝐓 @TouchlineX]

🚨 𝗕𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚: Virgil van Dijk speaks out against the hydration breaks!

🗣️ “I have been watching almost every game and I don’t really like the hydration breaks. And for the people watching on television it’s also not great.”

“If it’s REALLY HOT, then obviously you need it, but you need to look at it game by game.”

“But I think I have said enough already…..”

[.5🎀 @heydika5]

😭😭😭😭

[Edward Walker @edward_w97]

It really should be called what it actually is. It's a commercial break.

Qatar-Switzerland was the best evidence for it. Both teams ready early, Abunada wants to restart with a goal kick, but he's not allowed to because certain broadcasters aren't yet back from ads...

[Wacky Hijinks @wacky_hijinks]

Helicopters seem to exist solely to kill celebrities and politicians

[NEFERTITI @firstladyship]

The taxes & levies that will hit Nigerians if Ali Baba & the Forty Thieves mistakenly rig 2027.

I’M SORRY IN ADVANCE.

[cav empty @cavempty_]

i love how on youtube if you don’t hit skip ad when the button pops up it assumes you’re fine with watching ads forever and never getting to the video

[Chuks @Ifeabunike]

You're making this job look like you're being forced to campaign for PO.

If you have a conflict of interest, the honorable thing to do is to decline the appointment. Your tweets shouldnt seem like you're bending over backwards to support the Presidential candidate of your party

[Dani. @Danizeh]

We are getting to the point where a man wanting to fuck his wife is considered a bad thing. Genuinely don’t think we’ve ever had this much of a brain rot in human history before.

[Spoons @_Spoooons]

Pubs
Les hymnes
Pub
20min de jeu
Pub
25min de jeu
15mins de pub
20min de jeu
Pub
25 mins de jeu
Pub

Trop de foot dans mes pubs

[Daily Mail Sport @MailSport]

FIFA's World Cup 'hydration breaks' are a money-grabbing disgrace: Gianni Infantino is selling football's soul to broadcasters - and fans are paying the price, writes RIATH AL-SAMARRAI https://t.co/9J6MmXngMh

[Babatunde Gbadamosi @BOGbadams]

If Nigeria was a functional country, some people would have been shot for treason.

[Morris Monye @Morris_Monye]

Back to what I was saying yesterday

If God blesses you, your wife and kids are lifted

If God blesses your wife, then the burden is less on you.

If you raise 1,000 men, there is a chance that 1,000 new families are created.

If you raise 1,000 women, then there will be 1,000 more comfortable women.

This is the honest to God truth from God Himself.

[DANDIZZY @iDanDizzy]

I Dey watch this World Cup and I just Dey vex, u no fit tell me say all these teams I don watch so far better pass Nigeria, NFF nah just big disgrace.

[David Matthews @DavidMatthews6]

The hydration portion of that break was finished & the players were just standing around to wait for the commercials to finish so the ref can restart the game. The US are corrupting our f*cking sport.

[Alonso Gurmendi @Alonso_GD]

All 48 teams should organise and agree not to stop playing when the ref calls for a tv ad break. Screw FIFA.

This, of course, won’t happen. But it should.

[Princess Luna 🇨🇲 🇬🇧 🇳🇬 @princessluna237]

Amazes me when everyone is claiming to be shocked at the insecurity levels in Nigeria. Dawg y'all allowed a felon, a literal drug dealer to sit in Aso rock. To be honest, what did any of u expect?

[BOBBY MARS @bobby_on_mars]

Married women on twitter be like oh noooooooooooooo my husband, who is not allowed to have sex with anyone else, wants to have sex with me in our marital bed tonight oh noooooooooooooo I need to start some discourse about how awful this is