Colby Starren

bad decisions and bad bitches run my life

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

He cheated on his ex with you and now you think he won’t cheat on you because “it’s different”

Oh you stupid stupid

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

We should drug test by pay scale. Like yeah I don’t want my heart surgeon smoking meth, but why can’t the dude putting stickers on bananas at the grocery store at least be vibin’

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

Why did God have to make me in love with short girls... like does he want my children to grow up as midgets??

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

@AshleeTaylorr44 Oh I at least saved a couple grand up to this point 😂

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

I can’t remember ever having a girlfriend for valentines day and thats kinda sad 😂

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

When you girl that curved you gets chubby and suddenly wants you to take her out

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

@sashhhhley I’m not much of a romantic

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

@sashhhhley Okay jesus I didn’t remember okay

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

And big titty girls need love too, they’re just kinda mean because their backs always be hurting

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

I will never be mean to a girl with small titties, they ain’t got nothing to protect their fragile lil hearts 🥺

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

@watdakelsieheck Kelsie out here thriving 💪

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

Not all animals live in the wild

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

@clo_mccullum @kdmunsinger OH FUCK YOU MICROWAVE HOT POCKETS I’M GHOSTING YOUR ASS NO CAP 😤😤😤

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

Saying “wife me up” with a picture of the spaghetti you cooked is like me saying “don’t test me” while flexing my nerf gun

[brandi @brandinicc]

@aSlipperyHippo Amen

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

I will never be mean to a girl with small titties, they ain’t got nothing to protect their fragile lil hearts 🥺

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

On to the next job boys

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

All us truck guys give eachother shit, but at least we can all agree the Honda Ridgeline is still gayer than a $3 bill

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

If I just lived at my parents forever I could actually afford that lambo I want and that is a decision I am very tempted by

[Colby Starren @aSlipperyHippo]

I was so drunk last night that when I was talking to this Irish girl with a thick ass accent, I literally said “So what part of Austrailia are you from?”

Fuck 😫