Scadam

Just trying to be random in a prescribed life...

[Scadam @a_scadam]

@StewartHaasRcng @KevinHarvick @RodneyChilders4 ❤️

[Haas Factory Team @HaasFactoryTeam]

See this #SHRacing hat? Now it's your chance to win it! 🧢 You could be the proud owner of this commemorative hat autographed by both @KevinHarvick & @RodneyChilders4! Retweet & tap to ❤️ to enter. U.S. residents only. Winner chosen Wed., July 24 at 12 p.m. ET.

[Scadam @a_scadam]

Made it just in time #BuschPopUp

[Scadam @a_scadam]

*at dinner tonight*
7y/o: you know, how long could I ride a camel before I fall off?
Me: well, thank@God for public education...

[Scadam @a_scadam]

@TonyStewart I’m sure you get a lot of tweets and messages but I was a fan of yours for years before moving to @KevinHarvick upon your retirement. Any word on what Service Members will be honored in cars this year? Asking for a lost friend...Thanks in advance!! You’re the man!!!

[Scadam @a_scadam]

I’m not wealthy enough to need lifelock...

[Scadam @a_scadam]

I don’t want to turn on any of the New Year’s Eve programming because I just assume it’ll be all the exact same shit I completely resent 2017 for...

[Scadam @a_scadam]

My son literally cries at the sight of buttons every morning #welcometoparenthood

[Scadam @a_scadam]

Is there a way to make my phone forget Lady Gaga's last name so it'll stop correcting "haha?"

[Scadam @a_scadam]

Wife: behind every "idiot woman" driver is a husband saying "go"
Me: you should've went...

[Scadam @a_scadam]

My wife just said "fuck you" and threw a toenail clipping at me...
#marriedlife

[Scadam @a_scadam]

As a kid, I was disappointed when I learned how duty was spelled...

[Carter Wilkerson @carterjwm]

HELP ME PLEASE. A MAN NEEDS HIS NUGGS

[Scadam @a_scadam]

@Wendys, @SouthwestAir is stepping the PR game up!!!

[Scadam @a_scadam]

If I followed this, literally all I would ever do is wash my fucking hands 😂😂😂

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(717): Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(650): Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.

[Scadam @a_scadam]

*first thing I hear this morning*
Wife: did you take a picture of your balls on my phone last night?
Me: hahaha, maybe...

[Scadam @a_scadam]

Having fraternities and sororities is sexist. There should just be houses where folks get drunk and fuck all sexes 😂😂😂

[Scadam @a_scadam]

I want to get out of the Army to become an astrophysicist #DrPepperGiveaway