Ashton Winters

Picture This is my least favorite minigame in Mario Party 7. | Yale 2020

[Ashton Winters @a_winters7]

New post on Fat Puppet!

[Fat Puppet by Ashton Winters @Fat_Puppet]

Interview to Become a Monk

"— There are no lady monks. And you’ll have to take a vow of chastity.

— Who’s Chastity? She sounds hot."

Read the rest on Fat Puppet!

https://t.co/BHD3ECRtCM

[Fat Puppet by Ashton Winters @Fat_Puppet]

Interview to Become a Monk

"— There are no lady monks. And you’ll have to take a vow of chastity.

— Who’s Chastity? She sounds hot."

Read the rest on Fat Puppet!

https://t.co/BHD3ECRtCM

[Ashton Winters @a_winters7]

Fat Puppet is back! Happy Halloween!

[Fat Puppet by Ashton Winters @Fat_Puppet]

I'm Dr. Frankenstein and I Didn't Mean to Make that Monster

Honestly, it was an accident. I mean yes, I did go dig up all those bodies. And I did stitch all the scariest parts together.

Read the rest on Fat Puppet!
https://t.co/yudvRcUfCo

[Fat Puppet by Ashton Winters @Fat_Puppet]

I'm Dr. Frankenstein and I Didn't Mean to Make that Monster

Honestly, it was an accident. I mean yes, I did go dig up all those bodies. And I did stitch all the scariest parts together.

Read the rest on Fat Puppet!
https://t.co/yudvRcUfCo

[Ashton Winters @a_winters7]

I’m on a flight and I have a Simpsons clip that half-loaded before I took off and the airplane WiFi won’t load the rest so now I can only watch 7.5/15 seconds of Homer’s silly antics. The average man couldn’t handle the trials that I am dealt.

[Ashton Winters @a_winters7]

Merry Christmas! Here’s a festive Fat Puppet post!

[Fat Puppet by Ashton Winters @Fat_Puppet]

Firsts Drafts of the Grinch

“What you might not know is that the Grinch we all love isn’t the original. In fact, there were a bunch of other drafts before old Seuss landed on the final version of the Grinch.”

Read the rest on Fat Puppet!

https://t.co/dT2FVBMY7J

[Fat Puppet by Ashton Winters @Fat_Puppet]

Firsts Drafts of the Grinch

“What you might not know is that the Grinch we all love isn’t the original. In fact, there were a bunch of other drafts before old Seuss landed on the final version of the Grinch.”

Read the rest on Fat Puppet!

https://t.co/dT2FVBMY7J

[Ashton Winters @a_winters7]

Happy Thanksgiving! Here’s a new post!

[Fat Puppet by Ashton Winters @Fat_Puppet]

The White House Would like to Apologize for This Year’s Turkey Pardon

“We were not aware that not only did the turkey know how to use a gun, but it had used one to rob several local businesses.”

Read the rest on Fat Puppet!

https://t.co/TFFNNev81W

[Fat Puppet by Ashton Winters @Fat_Puppet]

The White House Would like to Apologize for This Year’s Turkey Pardon

“We were not aware that not only did the turkey know how to use a gun, but it had used one to rob several local businesses.”

Read the rest on Fat Puppet!

https://t.co/TFFNNev81W

[Ashton Winters @a_winters7]

New post—check it out!

[Fat Puppet by Ashton Winters @Fat_Puppet]

Some Potions Are Better Than Others

“Like the Lava Potion, which lets you wade through lava, sounds really cool at first. But then you realize, how often am I even around lava?”

Read the rest on Fat Puppet!

https://t.co/ClHdvU0LWC

[Fat Puppet by Ashton Winters @Fat_Puppet]

Some Potions Are Better Than Others

“Like the Lava Potion, which lets you wade through lava, sounds really cool at first. But then you realize, how often am I even around lava?”

Read the rest on Fat Puppet!

https://t.co/ClHdvU0LWC

[Fat Puppet by Ashton Winters @Fat_Puppet]

New post published on McSweeney’s! Check it out!

https://t.co/MYOe20kLp0

[Ashton Winters @a_winters7]

Excited to have a piece published by McSweeney’s! Check it out!

https://t.co/fhYnhPwVCw

[Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofwasps]

As you look over the syllabus, keep this in mind: I like to think of my course as "Edutainment", which is a mix of education, punishment, and the syllable "tain"

[Ashton Winters @a_winters7]

New post on Fat Puppet! Check it out!

[Fat Puppet by Ashton Winters @Fat_Puppet]

The World’s Most Annoying Clockmaker

“— How about this? The grandfather clock. It’s a clock that’s just like your grandfather.
— It smokes cigars and tells me I’m a disappointment?”

Read the rest on Fat Puppet!

https://t.co/4ywSgyH4j2

[Fat Puppet by Ashton Winters @Fat_Puppet]

The World’s Most Annoying Clockmaker

“— How about this? The grandfather clock. It’s a clock that’s just like your grandfather.
— It smokes cigars and tells me I’m a disappointment?”

Read the rest on Fat Puppet!

https://t.co/4ywSgyH4j2

[Ashton Winters @a_winters7]

Put some medieval tunes in my ears during work and I will absolutely lock in.

[Ashton Winters @a_winters7]

Eating an artichoke feels regal. A food fit for a kingly feast.

[Ashton Winters @a_winters7]

After a brief hiatus, Fat Puppet is back!

[Fat Puppet by Ashton Winters @Fat_Puppet]

I Opened My Own Zoo Because That’s Where the Money Is At

“Some zoos trade animals around to keep things fresh. But none of the zoos I talked to were willing to trade a rhinoceros for my ant farm.”

Check out the latest post on Fat Puppet!

https://t.co/MBUbs0GXIo

[Fat Puppet by Ashton Winters @Fat_Puppet]

I Opened My Own Zoo Because That’s Where the Money Is At

“Some zoos trade animals around to keep things fresh. But none of the zoos I talked to were willing to trade a rhinoceros for my ant farm.”

Check out the latest post on Fat Puppet!

https://t.co/MBUbs0GXIo