the clownery

[𝓢𝓱𝓪𝔂𝔂𝔂 🧚🏾‍♀️✨✨ @_iamhershayyy]

Getting mad at me because YOU tried to be mean to ME and found out I’m meaner than you is INSANE!

[Female Gremlin @trashgyn]

I’m sorry but women w boyfriends will come to you and be like “he keeps shitting his pants” “he doesn’t brush his teeth” “he doesn’t remember my food allergies” “he gets black out drunk 5 days a week” what else are we supposed to say

[ALL UP IN YOUR MIND @blackmagnet0]

Janine Teagues

[ຸ @fvckfemi_]

"i never asked you to" is such a cruel thing to say to someone whose time, effort, & care you gladly benefited from

[jynx @miiagarro]

your whole world could be coming down and all a man got to offer is sexual support

[❣︎ @tara0t_]

I enjoyed reading dictionaries as a child

[tea stoner 📚 90/90 @bookbeduion]

It's so concerning how many people are mysoginistic and then double down on it 😭 like no you are The problem

[Kali @102YLA]

I’m going through shit only Hannah horvath would understand

[Samantha 🐇 @specfictions]

Once every 1-3 years I’ll get a crush and it’s just carnage like you wouldn’t believe. Just listening to music at 2x speed and pacing around my 30 degree apartment, banging my head against the walls. Put me down like a lame horse

[Dr. Antifa @fartj0ke]

Being a girlfriend is kind of like being a unpaid creative director

[Lukas Battle @lukasbattle]

My nervous system thinks I’m laying in an artillery hole in No Man’s land in 1916 France but really I’m kinda hungover and have to send an email tomorrow

[Hollywood Deals @LocalDingus]

the mold growing in my water bottle said you would say that

[Eduardo García-Molina @eduardo_garcmol]

Incitatus when he’s made consul of Rome and has to balance the budget for Caligula’s projects.

[cosmic cowgirl 🪩🤠 @blockhim2026]

If I send this to you it means you should consider the situation handled

[trash jones @jzux]

“zohran’s wife tweeted bad stuff at age 15” ok have you seen what the president of the United States is currently tweeting at age 79

[academic rusty spoon, MA @snorthnorth]

Non solum chopped sed etiam unc

[🍁 @72Breezy]

makes sense check the rest of them

[Collins🦋 @collinstimbela_]

Make the Microsoft CEO search for an email on Outlook live on camera

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

Well sure, that minor change in plans realistically affects almost nothing. But unfortunately I have The Disease

[Chapin @Chapinc]

You want me to be physically present at a meeting in the office? Like the Ayatollah?