abi

egg eater, views not my own

[abi @abicoolestguy]

i used to think i wasn’t funny enough for twitter......boy was i wrong

[𝚂𝚑𝚒. ✶ @chamoulie]

old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches i will admit

[abi @abicoolestguy]

@Arimorrison5 I’m thinking tonight. You gonna be in the boro tn? I really wanna do a sit down if at all possible. I wanna get in your head man.

[abi @abicoolestguy]

@Arimorrison5 whaddup bro. You got a quick tweet you can send me to up my engagement stats?

[abi @abicoolestguy]

2026 prediction: this year is the year of vinegar. All y’all ladies better be putting some sherry on your salads

[abi @abicoolestguy]

I just told my friend that Lauryn Hill is from New Jersey and she was like from Newark? And I was like no from Maplewood.

[abi @abicoolestguy]

I’m here to call myself out because I spelled Chick-fil-A wrong. Taking a shot. Not as sober.

[abi @abicoolestguy]

taking a shot every time chic-fil-a is spelled correctly on a frat recruitment poster (i am sober)

[abi @abicoolestguy]

posted a histogram to the moodle everyone go like it

[mayra rae 💐 @buneeriee]

this is how God must feel when he sees us scrolling on our phones

[abi @abicoolestguy]

having a legendarily good hair day

[abi @abicoolestguy]

I want to do for hammers and nails what Bitmoji did for teachers

[abi @abicoolestguy]

i want to do for miso soup what bitmoji did for teachers

[abi @abicoolestguy]

i want to do for conservative judaism what bitmoji did for teachers

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

When playing chess, one of the most devastating moves your opponent can play is the dreaded check mate. This pretty much fucks you

[abi @abicoolestguy]

so are you guys team glinda or team elphaba

[abi @abicoolestguy]

chihuahua ate my airpod

[Zach Raffio @zachraffio]

Tired of plays where one person plays 26 characters, need a play where 26 people play one lady named Suzanne