ʎppɐp ʇǝd ſp ɹp

[hope hopes hoping @hopes_revenge]

you can tell when someone’s soul has been disfigured by screentime

[ringworm @prawn_meat]

"the new superman movie is actually really good --" do you know how unlikely that sounds. do you know how much of my training i would need to disregard to believe that

[legitimate elo terrorist @mr_sheldonator]

dogs when you hide a pill in their food:

[ラビリス ☭ steel council prez 🇵🇸🦬⚔️ @communistlabrys]

my favorite

[rashomon nesterović @orbrealm]

having your grandkids call you shit like "pap-pap" or "peepaw" is so undignified. if i ever have grandchildren, they will refer to me only as Dr. Grandfather

[ʎppɐp ʇǝd ſp ɹp @aboutsqualor]

@19thCentMindset @pbgomez_ Second amendment rights aren't just for white people, man

[Kyle 🚄 @KyleTrainEmoji]

They say China’s engineers are clever, but I only see them do easy stuff like build trains faster than God. Its US engineers tackling the tough questions like “can we make AI more racist?” or “what if instead of giving homeless people homes we gave them a kind of outdoor closet?”

[ʎppɐp ʇǝd ſp ɹp @aboutsqualor]

@chaser_bait there are veterinary behaviorists in France who treat an ADHD-like syndrome in dogs with stimulants like methylphenidate

[ʎppɐp ʇǝd ſp ɹp @aboutsqualor]

CATS however

[the giant @chaser_bait]

a while ago i spilled some of my adderall, and my roomie asked me to please be more careful bc their dog might eat it, so i looked up the LD50 for dogs and was about to be like “erm actually ur dog can eat a bunch of adderall” before realizing that’s not the right response at all

[mia🫧 @mia11112233]

i really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good …

[Ken Klippenstein @kenklippenstein]

In light of Mamdani's performance, is astonishing there aren't more insurgent primary campaigns. Democratic establishment is discredited. Power is just sitting there like a mountain of gold but instead of being guarded by a fire-breathing dragon, it's fossils like Chuck Schumer

[G. Gamache @The_G_Genie]

My biggest takeaway from the no kings rally is that there really should be a political party that could channel all this energy into something productive and progressive because it sure isn’t The Democrats

[Nugs @Nugjokes]

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette

[ʎppɐp ʇǝd ſp ɹp @aboutsqualor]

I have literally never known my party's extension

[it’s me @TheNatureBoyIV]

The videos of rocks hitting ICE vehicles is quite moving if you stop to let it impact you a bit. You know how Palestinians have said for a long time that their struggle is actually your struggle? That the forces which genocide and colonize them, will do the same to you?

[massage gun kelly @treswritesstuff]

derek is welcome to tweet me to death for saying this but the thing you gotta remember when referring to Dr. King’s words and example re: non-violent protest is they still murdered him for it.

[bren @brennan_nnn]

it’s “be careful” summer. be careful

[Mcdonald's#1 Wairror unarmed combat @TWOHANDEDSOWRD]

Its Amazing how much diet cola is healthy and energy drinks are very healthy for your body and mind

[mau @rllydu]

if i could read minds, i would use it to say your jokes faster and louder than u