The Absurdist

A weekly publication of strange and surreal fiction. Edited by @conn_lucey.

[The Absurdist @absurdistmag]

That’s all for now, folks.

A brief note from the Absurdist team, saying thanks and see you later:

https://t.co/mdR98XmHxR

[The Absurdist @absurdistmag]

In “Friends for Life Coach™️” (2017), we meet an extraordinary doctor with some extraordinarily bizarre methods and research projects.

Enjoy this evergreen, ever-strange story by @JLoVerdeDropp, now on the site. 👇

https://t.co/w4YotxXS3m

[The Absurdist @absurdistmag]

In “The Berlin Zoo” (2017) by Craig Loomis, another day at the zoo begins, and the already blurry line between human and animal is called (adroitly, comically) into question. Read it now on the site.👇

https://t.co/BZxiRS4DVd

[The Absurdist @absurdistmag]

This week and next, we’re revisiting some of our favorite stories from our past life as a print journal.

In Kate LaDew’s “The Shopping Cart Museum” (2017), Percival reluctantly takes on his father’s legacy to champion all things shopping cart... 🛒

https://t.co/q6H812SLNG

[kerry rawlinson @kerryrawli]

this by @thea_swanson makes a burning impression...
https://t.co/MkJd2O7oaB

[The Absurdist @absurdistmag]

If you haven’t yet, head over to the site and read @MrBingham3’s new story “Dreams: More Than a Conqueror.” It’s a surreal story about family and dreams, both intimate & delightfully unsettling.

https://t.co/suACBvqUnw

[The Absurdist @absurdistmag]

“[Mamaw] was on their crooked floor and her neck kept growing longer, her head crawling and twisting up the hardwood and closer to the wall.”

Read “Dreams: More Than a Conqueror,” a new story by @MrBingham3.

https://t.co/suACBvqUnw

[The Absurdist @absurdistmag]

Hey everyone, our submission window is now open through Tuesday, June 30th. Send us some weird flash! 👇

https://t.co/EPsvxR9y86

#amwriting #writingcommunity #writerscafe #callforsubmissions

[The Absurdist @absurdistmag]

It’s a hopeful story about finding purpose in life, told (by some act of narrative sorcery) in the third-person plural.

Read “Name-Patch Pressers” by @thea_swanson, now available on the site.

https://t.co/lgVbtIIkRj

[The Absurdist @absurdistmag]

@thea_swanson The pleasure is all ours 🙌

[The Absurdist @absurdistmag]

“When they pull the levers down and the hot iron sears the glue to the shirts, Fred, Paul and Jerry scream across town, clutching bubbling skin over their hearts.”

This week’s featured story: “Name-Patch Pressers” by @thea_swanson.

https://t.co/lgVbtIIkRj

[The Absurdist @absurdistmag]

Friends, they come and go. Except in the case of poor Petrov—his mostly just go. Find out why in “Petrov’s Lost Friends,” a story by Dennis Pahl.

https://t.co/87GAKiu9GT

[The Absurdist @absurdistmag]

“The only friend Petrov had left was an old mad woman[...] Whenever she came to visit, he’d offer her a cup of hot tea, which she pretended to sip but never drank.”

Read this week’s new story by Dennis Pahl, “Petrov’s Lost Friends.”

https://t.co/87GAKiu9GT

[The Absurdist @absurdistmag]

Life can really pile it on. Sometimes obnoxious neighbors, marital problems & the threat of hunters confusing you for game isn’t enough, so life just manifests a hatch in your backyard, too.

Check out @onebroth’s new story “The Hatch,” on the site now.

https://t.co/xGFh3IxQM7

[The Absurdist @absurdistmag]

“It was a bright October morning when Lewis Sidwell discovered a hatch door protruding from the grass in the middle of his backyard. It had not been there the night before.”

Read “The Hatch,” this week’s new story by @onebroth, now on the site.

https://t.co/xGFh3IxQM7

[Taco Bell Quarterly @TBQuarterly]

Your absolute stupidest dumbest weirdest idea will be your most successful. Try it.

[The Absurdist @absurdistmag]

“Happy Monday, folks, and good morning from Absurdist HQ in Portland, Oregon. Here the weather is drizzly and cool. I’m sitting on the couch with a steaming cup of coffee, listening to the rain and thinking about time.”

A small dispatch from the editor:

https://t.co/coQDvilTsy

[Jon Weier (he/him) @jonweier]

This is by far my favourite "historical plaque" ever. It is truly spectacular.