Criminal Flower

I feed off crime in every possible format except real | I love medtwitter but not an MD | I wash my hands | I hate ppl touching my stuff | I Spanglish 24/7

[Criminal Flower @acidic_af]

Día 1 de ejercicio. Otra vez.

[Criminal Flower @acidic_af]

@the_grafixmedic Yes, I have noticed the fade-away. It's cool.

[The Grace Of God🤭🕊️ @Kim_Leeeeyah]

The older you get, the more you realize luck is mostly exposure. If you sit in the same place, have the same routine, talking to the same people, nothing new really happens. You have to tackle the world to win. Travel more. Talk to people.

[ᴊᴜᴀɴғʀᴀ ʜᴏᴍs @juanfhoms]

Normalicen reírse de la nada por acordarte de algo.

[xim ★ @spallatti4]

top placeres de la vida? escuchar hablar a una persona inteligente sobre un tema que no sabes

[Erin Ekins (she/her) @QueerlyAutistic]

It's always strange to me when people argue against diagnosing autistic and ADHD children by using the 'we shouldn't be putting labels on them' argument.

Because I was undiagnosed as a child - and wait until you hear about all the other labels I got instead.

[maya 🦭 @mayaisfiya]

best cure for imposter syndrome is to listen to business podcasts. these guys are so empirically successful but they’re also so SO stupid it’s ridiculous

[Fanzy 💫 @Ifanyima]

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is the epitome of your type

[Martin Pilgrim @MartinPilgrim1]

The easiest way to open an antiques shop is to buy a normal shop and wait.

[Lil. S @sergiohernndz]

Normalicen regalar 1 kg de café como detalle romántico.

[dana donnelly @danadonnelly]

I’ve never understood why some parents expect you to let their kid cut you in the bathroom line “but my daughter really has to go” bitch this chick is 7 years old if she pees her pants literally no one will care if I pee my pants I’m getting sent to rehab

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

People say there’s no magic in books but the fact that you can string words together to create a series of visions in someone else’s brain is still our greatest achievement as a species.

[cánovas @mcanovas__]

cualquier dinero que gastes en comer bien, vestirte bien y explorar el mundo nunca será un desperdicio

[lipsey @fowontmiss]

sometimes i wonder why is there always a shop selling luggage at the airport? who is going on vacation carrying armfuls of clothes saying i’ll pack when we get there

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

whenever my mom asks me how much i paid for something, i reduce the price by 50% of the actual price

[𝒫𝓇𝑜𝒻𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝒢𝐹 @formerwickdgyal]

Went with my now (ex) to clean his mum’s grave. It was fairly early in the relationship, but I knew his dad, brother, etc.

I look up, and his mum (I’d seen photos) is walking towards us. I didn’t breathe. I didn’t say a word.

Why wouldn’t you tell me your dead mum is a twin?

[Chris 𝕏 @Chris__X__]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but the rule of thumb is that the first piece of bread stays in the bag until it meets the last slice of bread...

[encantadora y cazadora ⭑ @forbiddenhottie]

se te olvidó bloquearme de la farmacia del ahorro ahí te va un minoxidil pinche calvo

[𝓐𝓺𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓱🧚🏼 @aqee_sofine]

the fact that walls get dusty is ridiculous. you're vertical. act like it.

[Andrés Osorio @osobrio]

A esta hora hay una project manager escribiendo en el grupo de astronautas "chicos, cómo vamos con las foticos de la luna que ya cliente me está preguntando?".