dylan mckeever

a walking clock

[dylan mckeever @adyldo]

Hit the gym, you sad mother fuckers

[Ted @tlschwerz]

Do you want to go to the #MNTwins ALDS Game 4 for free?

I’m giving away 2 tickets to Wednesday’s Twins vs. #Astros tilt.

To enter:
1. RT this post
2. Follow @BettorEdge
3. Follow @tlschwerz

Get an extra $20 by using my link at https://t.co/VI4rQp3Zxh

[dylan mckeever @adyldo]

@minnesportsman1 @MNTwinsZealot I feel bad for Berrios because I like him

[dylan mckeever @adyldo]

wtf is that little automated greeting at taco bell before the real person gets on angry as hell

[dylan mckeever @adyldo]

Golden boy

[Simpsons Quotes @Simpsons_tweets]

Hans Moleman Productions Presents: "Man Getting Hit By Football".

[dylan mckeever @adyldo]

Y’know, when I spend this much on college, I except a little more than single-ply toilet paper

[dylan mckeever @adyldo]

oh to be a bear in a tree

[Out of Context Pokémon @OoCPokemon]

this shit will never not be funny

[Luis Vercetti @97Vercetti]

jeffrey dahmer

[dylan mckeever @adyldo]

@njgeiger He’s a vampire right

[dylan mckeever @adyldo]

@ItsRetrop This picture is from like 10 years ago

[dylan mckeever @adyldo]

Blue jays love nuts

[Derek McKeever @angsty_as_frick]

this ladies kid came to the bar and is playing chess w Dylan today is a good day

[Simpsons Quotes @QuotesSimpsons1]

When I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.

Dad, what's the point of this story?

I like stories.

#Simpsons

[samantha @milkygoddess]

unfortunately they were right. eating 3 meals a day and exercising and not drinking alcohol and getting 8 hours of sleep does make you feel good

[dylan mckeever @adyldo]

da baby’s era really feels like a fever dream

[dylan mckeever @adyldo]

Hawaiian sunset :-)

[Get Rich Or Get Drunk Trying @GROGDTPodcast]

I made 96K a year working four days a week as a bartender and people would still ask me when was I going to get a real job.

A reminder that misery loves company.