Albert

Albert | he/they

[November @postoctobrist]

AIRLINE CHECK-IN STAFF: so you’ve got economy, and then above that you’ve got business class
KARL MARX: right
STAFF: so where would you like to sit on the plane
KARL MARX: the what

[Albert @AffConnection]

@CaIebMaupin

[Albert @AffConnection]

@scumbelievable oh god, this whole thread shows that this book is such a big self report showing how her brain got utterly broken by twitter. it's really sad

[Scott Bryan @scottygb]

Nearly every main British television channel will be airing The Queen's funeral on Monday.

Apart from Channel 5 ... who are airing The Emoji Movie.

[Matt Lieb?? @mattlieb]

You 👏 don’t 👏 owe 👏 your 👏 new 👏 born 👏 baby 👏 any 👏 thing 👏

[Jane Altoids @staticbluebat]

Drake DMing Anthony Fantano when he’s like a billionaire is so funny, you can be the biggest artist in the world but one bald dork who likes Death Grips thinks you are boring makes you crazy

[Albert @AffConnection]

"younger women do more what younger women do more." this just says this.

[Rob Henderson @robkhenderson]

"Women with tattoos reported greater willingness to engage in uncommitted sexual relations, as well as higher endorsement of egalitarianism and sensation-seeking, relative to non-tattooed women" https://t.co/mtSoRXcjMa

[Albert @AffConnection]

@slutpilled age. this is about age. this basically says younger women do more what younger women do more

[Racc Attacc 🦝🏳‍🌈 @MECHMODER]

😳

[Albert @AffConnection]

accidentally-ordered-flatbread-instead-of-Italian-from-Subway kind of day

[virtex (quit the internet era) @virtexexe]

THE OPENING'S BASED ON THOSE ADS FOR MODERATE TO SEVERE PLAQUE PSORIASIS MEDICATION, AND LITTLE PIECE WAS TRYING TO SAY "MODERATE TO SEVERE" BUT SHE ACCIDENTALLY SAID "MODERATE TAVERE" AND KEPT ROLLING WITH IT, BUT TO TRULY UNDERSTAND MTCS YOU HAVE TO START WITH THE FIRST ALLEYW-

[Ewan @jelly_pack]

I genuinely love twitter because the rich and powerful who would traditionally float through life without ever worrying about what the peasants say about them are now utterly compelled to access this information and drive themselves miserably insane over it lol

[Daniel Maier @danielmaier]

Doesn’t flinch.

[Daniel @growing_daniel]

REPORTER: Hello I’m from the New York Times, I’m calling about a feature we’re writing about your town

MAYOR OF OMELAS: *huge sigh* this is about the kid isn’t it