PETER DAVID STRAHM

@FBI

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

Fishing with Perez #fbioffduty

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman … people can SEE these posts, DICK. You’re not FUNNY.

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman THAT got you to turn your phone off? Two replies? Jesus, you’re out of practice. Probably too busy with your little Peter to respond. 🤣

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman What, you need a PUBLIC POST to consider washing your own SOCKS for once? God knows they need it.

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman .. I’m not talking to you on here. Just saying. I ALREADY do everything for you. When was the last time you— I don’t know, did your own LAUNDRY?

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman Might as well be. It’s ONE IN THE MORNING. I didn’t think you even USED “X” anymore.

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman … YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE ASLEEP.

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman Post must have worked. LOL

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman JUST SHUT UP. STOP REPLYING TO ME. Focus on your stupid fucking CROSSWORD.

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman …. SHUT UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP. WHATEVER you say, uh, little….. …. .

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman …. And YOU’RE saying this. YOU. Have you looked in the MIRROR? Or— no, aren’t you all about SELFIES? YOU’VE BEEN THE DICK OBSESSED ONE SINCE DAY ONE. STOP TRYING TO PISS ME OFF.

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman WHOA. HOLD on. The GIANT ONE? But… it’s SOO BIG, Hoffman, you really think you can TACKLE IT? Is THAT ONE dick themed? Or… dick AND murder themed? Jesus, you have some niche interests.

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman … WHAT THE FUCK? WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET A DICK THEMED CROSSWORD PUZZLE? Oh, NO, but you already DID that one, didn’t you. Probably what this one was SUPPOSED to be.

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman WITH /ME/—?! COME on, JUST when you stopped calling me “DICK OBSESSED”— GO. DO THEM. No one’s STOPPING YOU.

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman … I’m… not taking the bait. You get off to the idea of me doing your CROSSWORD PUZZLES or something—? Fuck OFF.

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman Uhhuh. They’re PERFECT. You know, MAYBE if you showed me the CLUES for the crossword I could… see JUST how perfectly you did it.

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman YOU LIKE DOING CROSSWORDS. And I’M the grandpa. YOU’RE PRACTICALLY ASKING ME TO COME OVER AND SALVAGE YOUR SHITTY CROSSWORD ATTEMPTS.

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman Oh, NO, the GIANT CROSSWORD? There’s a GIANT one? How will I EVER live? STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO DO YOUR CROSSWORDS. WHY ARE YOU EVEN DOING CROSSWORDS —?!!

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman A WORK IN PROGRESS. REALLY. What, you got WITE-OUT? Maybe one of those little— ERASABLE pens? The ones kids use for their diaries? CAN’T REALLY DO MUCH NOW, CAN I.

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman THAT’S— HOW is ball a valid answer. WHAT WORD STARTS WITH “A” AND ENDS WITH “ML”, DETECTIVE.

[PETER DAVID STRAHM @agentpstrahm]

@sigmahoffman “BA” . Hoffman. Bank? Bawl? BARK? “BALL” IS NOT THE ONLY 4 LETTER WORD STARTING WITH “BA”, DUMBASS.