Amy Brown

[Steph Johnson @ScouseBirdBlogs]

The best part of a relationship is at the very beginning when you want to see them all the time & even miss them when they go to the toilet.

[Steph Johnson @ScouseBirdBlogs]

Boy: "You should smile more"

Me:

[Amy Brown @aimbrownx]

@gab_gerrardx @ScouseBirdProbs was literally goner send u this x

[Steph Johnson @ScouseBirdBlogs]

If at first you don't succeed, ring your dad crying and make him do it for you instead.

[Steph Johnson @ScouseBirdBlogs]

Seeing your ex with his new bird and laughing at everything from her shit extensions to her 6 day old caked on mascara

[President Obama @POTUS44]

It's been the honor of my life to serve you. You made me a better leader and a better man.

[Steph Johnson @ScouseBirdBlogs]

Shopping Basket Total: £180.99

Me: "That's absolutely fine"

Delivery: £2.99

Me:

[Sarcasm @SarcasmProfile]

Girls be like

[Steph Johnson @ScouseBirdBlogs]

Me single Vs Me in a relationship when I've let myself get comfy

[Steph Johnson @ScouseBirdBlogs]

It's all fun and games until the contactless payments from the weekend start leaving your account

[Steph Johnson @ScouseBirdBlogs]

My ex tells everyone I'm crazy and he's right because obviously there's something wrong with me to have gone out with him.

[Steph Johnson @ScouseBirdBlogs]

Spending most of your time at work calculating how many years, days, hours & minutes you've got to go until you can retire.

[Steph Johnson @ScouseBirdBlogs]

Facebook should have an option that lets you delete all your posts from before 2011 back when you were a little ming

[Steph Johnson @ScouseBirdBlogs]

"I'm never speaking to him again"

*Gets a text*

Him: Hey

Me: Hey. How are you? How was ur xmas? What you doing this weekend? I love you

[Steph Johnson @ScouseBirdBlogs]

Feel well sly on posh kids who have to wait until after church and dinner to open their presents. Child cruelty, that.

[Steph Johnson @ScouseBirdBlogs]

Wondering how you're going to make it to January pay day as you've already spent all your wages & mentally spent tomorrow's Crimbo money

[Steph Johnson @ScouseBirdBlogs]

If you're in a relationship where you're not "allowed" to do something, tell them they're not allowed to be in a relationship with you.

[Steph Johnson @ScouseBirdBlogs]

If you receive a candle as a present it means that they had absolutely no idea what to get you & you're a bit basic. Soz.