aimless

Retweet addict. Here are my crappy tweets:

[aimless @aimlessamers]

I'm a participation trophy wife.

[Darla @ddsmidt]

Don’t let anyone talk you into dropping a grudge. I quit carrying mine around and I’m pretty sure that’s when my arms got flabby.

[aimless @aimlessamers]

Today doesn't seem any fatter than any other Tuesday.

[Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP]

Breaking News: New study says dieting is hard because carbs and fats taste pretty good.

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

We didn't have all these problems back when Pluto was a planet.

[aimless @aimlessamers]

Why yes, auto-correct, I wanted to text “call me when you have a sex” to my boss.

[Wilde Thingy @wildethingy]

I wonder if butterfly parents are fucking horrified when they first see their caterpillar kid.

[Wilde Thingy @wildethingy]

You don't hold a grudge, it holds you.

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

I'm an anti vaxxer which is why I think we should just all get herd immunity by exposing ourselves to the virus to get antibodies, ideally a weakened version of the virus, in some sort of doctor's office or pharmacy

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

I'd pay good money for a bear to shit on James Woods.

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

Tell me if you prefer country music or R&B so I'll know if you're Strait or Gaye.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

Practicing quizzically taking my hat off and scratching my head today

[JC Tarp @jctwritesstuff]

*does the Dirty Dancing lift with a slab of ribs*