"But no matter the medicinal virtues of being a true friend or sustaining a long close relationship with another, the ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the other nor of the self; the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span, on a journey impossible to accomplish alone."
— David Whyte
It is said that the best horses lose when they compete with slower ones, and win against better rivals.
Undercompensation from the absence of a stressor, inverse hormesis, absence of challenge, degrades the best of the best.
Great leaders have no interest in counter-productive communication.
At all costs, they avoid gossip, complaining, and dwelling on problems outside their control.
The strong act, the weak chatter.
Exercise should never be used as punishment.
1. It creates a dislike for exercise, a view that you only do it if forces. A consequence that can influence a lifetime.
2. It shifts motivation to avoidance.
3. It trains them to give less effort when in a state of fatigue.
There are a few jobs that my hat goes off to, because no matter how knowledgeable you are, everyone thinks they know more.
Jobs like teachers, coach, and dieticians come to mind.
Everyone is an expert. Because they are often blind to their ignorance.
Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I try to remind myself:
No one really knows what the hell they’re doing.
Some people are just better at smiling through the chaos and marching into the unknown.
"When I hear about guys sleeping in their office I wonder what they hell they're doing there. Cause the game ain't that hard.
The work will always be there, your kids won't.
I tell my coaches, if you miss a recital or little league game... I'll fire you."
- Bruce Arians
“To a disciple who was forever complaining about others, the Master said, ‘If it is peace you want, seek to change yourself, not other people. It is easier to protect your feet with slippers than to carpet the whole of the earth.’” — Anthony de Mello
Galileo & Roman Inquisition.
You couldn't question the church.
Now 500 years later, you can't question science.
We have become so enlightened we're blinded by our own hubris.
It's the ability to question that is the answer.
Science is the new church.
Not to be questioned.
Advice paradox
As I've gotten older, likely couldn't convince my younger self of what I think today.
It's not reason or logic that would be the problem, my younger self wasn't there yet.
I was looking through a different lens.
I hadn't been through the battles of life.
Yet.
Too often we reward people who solve problems while ignoring those who prevent them in the first place.
Instead of glorifying those who run around putting out fires, we need to create an organizational culture that empowers everyone to act responsibly at the first sign of smoke.
One of the best pieces of advice I got in my career was, "You often learn more from watching a horrible program than a winning one. It'll be glaring what's wrong. You'll quickly see what are the basic foundational pieces that are missing"
Learning what not to do can be powerful
If you want to think for yourself, you can’t have someone always whispering in your ear. If you want space to think, you need quiet and calm – not a bunch of smart people throwing out new ideas.
Walk (without a podcast)
Run (without an audiobook)
Think (without music)
Sit within 25 feet of a high performer, performance improves by 15%.
Sit within 25 feet of a low performer, performance declines by 30%.
Similar findings for other emotions and behaviors.
We are mirrors. The people we surround ourselves with shape us, and we shape them, too.
Sacrificing health and family for work is not an expression of loyalty - It's a sign of poor priorities.
Dedication is not what you give up for your job - It's what you give to your job.
Accomplishments highlight your skills. Relationships reveal your values.