new year, new fear

occasionally funny, consistently awkward | Professional Nerd Herder for @playchoices | tweets are my own | ✨she/her

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

Lots of people on my feed are soft launching their relationships and I would like to soft launch myself into the fucking ocean

[michaela okland @MichaelaOkla]

Its ok if you have been lazy bc it is very hot outside. Hot makes sleepy. And you’re just a person. So you’re gonna be sleepy. It’s not bc you’re bad…. You’re good. And pretty

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

I will never be as 🦅🇺🇸✨ patriotic ✨🇺🇸🦅 as when I’m dunking on the brit’s version of Chinese take out. This very moment will unite us all. God bless America.

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

Howard no…

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

if you broke into my car last week and stole my work bag, please bring it back. I need the work keys. And maybe a description of what was in it? Look, I didn’t keep good track of what was there, but there was a book I was really excited to read and my favorite pair of gym shorts

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

Just had the CRUNCHIEST, CRISPIEST caesar salad and I stg it fixed all of my problems for like, 27 minutes

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

Someone near my mom’s house is letting off fireworks. For Easter. He do be risen, I guess. Pop off, besties.

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

one day someone is gonna fall in love with my personality (obnoxious & annoying) and it’ll be over for you hoes*

*me hoes. i am hoes.

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

lightly burnt popcorn >>>>>

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

@opourzia Literally a windstorm outside but welcome to CA I guess lmao

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

Snapchat please, I don’t need memories of my snaps from 7 years ago. I was a different person then; freer, more annoying. She shan’t be remembered. (I’m still annoying, I just don’t document it as much now)

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

great googly-moogly balls of fire

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

Oh it’s #TournamentOfChampions time? Sorry, this will be my entire personality for the foreseeable future

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

Look, I’ve seen it in real life. It’s not worth it. People will walk into a shared, communal bathroom barefoot and you’ll never want to step foot in an office again. Don’t do it, please,

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Lmao what kind of wiley e coyote ass painted tunnel on a wall scheme is this

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

God I need to move out of the Bay Area

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

@isaprty ITS SO GOOD

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

Discovering that I have split ends in my EYEBROWS is not at the top of list of why im crying tonight, but it’s certainly on there

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

@aceofsquares witness me

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

in my buttered toast era 💅🏼

[new year, new fear @ajmargs]

@_CKLauderdale truly cannot wait for your breakdown of this. i am invested in your family tree now