Aims

“a well appearing female who appears her stated age and is in no acute distress” - my orthopedic surgeon

[Aims @akrooker]

I love her but girl is such a capitalist that my first thought was that taylor swift announced her marriage in paid partnership with AT&T

[winn ⚾︎ @CANCELLEDwinns]

ITS LIKE WE HAVE A NEW POPE

[gb @im_gayb]

28 year old in Chicago:

[Jacob Jones @_jacobmjones]

The Pistons simply cannot lose a series to a team that plays in We're Gonna do the Housing Crisis Again Arena.

[spelunky fc @spelunky_]

your childless friend is mad funny is he single

[Aims @akrooker]

hi @NFL @NBCSports let Steve Kornacki cover the draft

[Aims @akrooker]

@rosysuit He paid a lot for that hairline he’s not about to let some bugs live there rent free

[⁀⊙﹏☉⁀ @pussyfromagirl]

when jesus died and came back was it because he got narcanned

[Hudson Williams Updates @hudsonwupdates]

“F*ck AI. F*ck it to death.” - Hudson Williams at the #GoldenGlobes(via variety)

[rae_timzy @omo_Akinbile]

Go outside and apologize to the trees for wasting their oxygen

[Aims @akrooker]

I desperately need to know what is up with the kerning of hudcon’s “sex sells” tattoo. Like it’s a very technically impressive fine line tattoo and the Ls are kerned the same way in both so it must be intentional but I need to know WHY

[Hudson Williams Updates @hudsonwupdates]

Hudson Williams via instagram story.

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

Damn, that’s not even close to the right year.

[Aims @akrooker]

Heated Rivalry is like Normal People except gay and smutty and also there’s hockey does that make sense to anyone else

[killjoy 🐇 @pvnkpilled]

“everyone gets a plate before you can have seconds” but for housing

[Aims @akrooker]

Political violence is not just pulling a trigger. It’s Medicaid cuts, ICE raids, cutting funding for research and education, gutting the CDC, claiming COVID was a hoax, overturning vaccine mandates, treating corporations as people, no paid leave law, a $7.25 min wage, etc., etc…

[Aims @akrooker]

I have a vision and that’s for a Jared Goff and Coco Gauff to face off in an epic GOFF/GAUFF-OFF

[Aims @akrooker]

It was definitely NOT the Sheinhardt Wig Company

[Dexerto @Dexerto]

Rare bright orange nurse shark has been discovered in Costa Rica

[Aims @akrooker]

@ItsMattsLaw My lawyer filed my response with “defendant denies. defendant also questions plaintiff’s understanding of sarcasm”

[ellory smith @ellorysmith]

Because every child is my child and every neighborhood is my neighborhood 🤝

[𝗞𝗮𝗹𝗲⸆⸉ 🪩☁️ @cloverbloom_]

Officially waiting for two orange things to drop

[paddle @ipaddlearound]

my untimely passing will send ripples thru the salt and vinegar chip industry. there will be many chip tycoons at my funeral