Alex Keane

human embodiment of a dad joke | Syracuse Musical Theater 2021

[Alex Keane @aleanikea]

@SeanORourke124 Only the classiest of us are

[Alex Keane @aleanikea]

I was alone in the car for 5 hours today and I had this thought in hour 4: I feel like driving with cruise control on with your feet off the pedals and your knees together and to the side is the 21st century equivalent to side saddle.

[Carly @carlycaviglia]

I know some people have a sweet tooth but I think I’ve got a carb tooth

[Alex Keane @aleanikea]

No lie my mom just sent me a book called “How to be Alone”

[Alex Keane @aleanikea]

@carlycaviglia I love that it could realistically be multiple people

[Alex Keane @aleanikea]

I had a two minute un-ironic conversation with my professor in gibberish today.

[Alex Keane @aleanikea]

@carlycaviglia Felix

[Alex Keane @aleanikea]

@JessicaVosk “My Name is Asher Lev” https://t.co/zz6DslwWUc

[Alex Keane @aleanikea]

We all have that one intersection that we see and our heart gets a lil warm and fuzzy bc it means we’re almost home.

[Alex Keane @aleanikea]

I was on set for a student film tonight and, during downtime, I pulled out a book. Normal, right?
The sound guy comes up to me and says —and I quote— “Wow, I’ve never seen an actor read before. Good for you”

[hugo @toasteredbread]

my mom: u should eat breakfast lunch & dinner
doctors: u should eat breakfast lunch & dinner
my friends: u should eat breakfast lunch & dinner
the news: u should eat breakfast lunch & dinner

me: okay so what im hearing is dunch (dinner lunch) & then a second, darker dinner

[Paul Palmeri @ThisPaul]

I can’t fully trust my mind and most days that’s challenging. Some days I don’t notice but some days I have to remind myself that my mind is a liar and I can’t trust what it’s telling me.

I am not a piece of shit
I am incredibly loved.
No one is rooting for me to fail.

[Alex Keane @aleanikea]

I learned tonight that the Face ID on my phone recognizes me with a mouth full of toast and another piece in between my teeth. Is there a word for both pride and self loathing?

[James Corden @JKCorden]

Oh my god. This is just sensational. Please watch and retweet.

[Alex Keane @aleanikea]

Are you ever just so sure you’re a step ahead only to realize you’re nine chasses behind everyone else?

[Alex Keane @aleanikea]

The dinner party episode is the best episode of The Office—try to change my mind

[Alex Keane @aleanikea]

You know it’s gonna be a good day when your socks have shrimp on them

[Alex Keane @aleanikea]

I got Landon’s bag of pita chips at the end of thon tonight. I think I win

[Alex Keane @aleanikea]

Psa: The candy man lore is real

[Alex Keane @aleanikea]

My roommates and I are “the toast girls” and I think that’s beautiful