Alec Phelps

I do things sometimes, but I rarely tweet about it.

[Panic! At The TL @Puff_Iya]

“Oh I’ve actually been vaccinated for about 3 months now. Side effects weren’t too bad but I’ve been convincing Dwight that I’m slowly turning into a zombie. I started off groaning and pretending I didn’t notice it. Now I just Google brains and stare at them. . .hungrily.”

[Alec Phelps @alec_phelps]

@AndreaaaRios 😏😏

[Alec Phelps @alec_phelps]

@AndreaaaRios

[Proxi @Proxic0n]

SWAT: give up the hostages

RICK ASTLEY[holding a gun to my head]: you know I can't do that

[Chris Scott @iamchrisscott]

Mariah Carey beginning with “I don’t want a lot for Christmas” and then revealing she wants “you” is such a good burn

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

WHO MADE THIS??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Alec Phelps @alec_phelps]

@alicia_davis @Tay_loure 😂😂 I don’t remember this, but I’m very sure that it was not the time...

[eric curtin @dubstep4dads]

(i get kidnapped and thrown in the back of a car but we drive past some horses)
me, pointing: hrmphses

[Todd 'Papi' Carlos @TheToddWilliams]

HER: I think we should break up

ME: But...why?

HER: I don't know if it's your terrible puns or the fact that you don't "believe" in the color blue

ME {quietly to self}: Cyans fiction

HER: Or both

[shen the bird @Shen_the_Bird]

[first day as a baker]

boss: open this door. you better not be making sculptures again

me: ahh [frantically trying to hide bread pitt and angelina doughlie] just a second

[Alec Phelps @alec_phelps]

@spicysrilankan Thanks Sean! You’re a great friend and I’m happy to have you

[Zilla @GoodZiIIa]

[doctor looking at my xrays]

doctor: this is exactly what i was afraid of

me: what

doctor: skeletons