𝐀𝚛𝚝.

a gentleman does not wear conspicuous socks.

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

Boss definitely has a screw loose

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

@msmanicmonday You are not huge

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

@msmanicmonday What kind of candy

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

I’m actually going to go crazy if I spend one more day around my parents

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

@sartorialed I dislike them both equally

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

@sartorialed They came in on Monday

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

@msmanicmonday My kid will like me

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

@sartorialed Aw thanks love you too Jules

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

@sartorialed That’s not old stop thinking it’s old

[adam struggling uncle @strugglinguncle]

moms text you like “please call ASAP” and then you call and they’re like “hello i am your mom”

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

🍺🍨

[Zito @_Zeets]

Manhattan is so great if you want to see people who have never walked on a sidewalk or in public before. Fully grown human beings who have no spatial awareness or sense of direction.

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

@msmanicmonday Maybe add fruit?

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

@uptownbabe Always

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

No one knows what office heels are anymore? Why’re you wearing stilettos

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

@msmanicmonday Old mean queen is a crazy way to describe the guy you like sometimes

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

@msmanicmonday You know me!

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

I’m sick of looking at the snow

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

Stopping by the store so I can be prepared for being snowed in all weekend with my girlfriend

[𝐀𝚛𝚝. @alewik]

Spent last night trying to look sober to the bartender when I was on my sixth gin and tonic