Alex K

Sorry, I'm not in the market for new friends.

[Matt Lindner @mattlindner]

Traveling is grand but man there is something about Chicago that, when you’re arriving back into the city after being away, makes you appreciate just how much better it is than anywhere else.

[DePauw University @DePauwU]

Weather Update: It’s Monon°F in Greencastle with a 100% chance of Bell

[M&M’S @mmschocolate]

Everyone, officially meet your new best friend. Want to get to know her better? Check it out here: https://t.co/Qp9KQ5HoSy

[Shea Serrano @SheaSerrano]

it’s hispanic heritage month so you gotta venmo a mexican $10 or you’re racist

[Buster Olney @Buster_ESPN]

NL playoff chances, per Fangraphs:
Dodgers 100%
Mets 99.9%
Braves 98.7%
Brewers 89.7%
Padres 83.8%
Phillies 51%
Cardinals 49.9%
Giants 24%
Marlins 2.6%
Diamondbacks 0.2%
Cubs 0.1%
Nats, Pirates, Reds, Rockies 0.0%

[Alex K @alexkleeeber]

@Cubs have been outscored 84-26 during this 9 game losing streak. Some may say these losses have been…biblical.

So much for fielding a competitive team, Tommy

[Alex K @alexkleeeber]

@henryerz15 @whitesox

[Alex K @alexkleeeber]

@The_Hmel Oh shit

[Alex K @alexkleeeber]

There is nothing quite like listening to two alcoholics chatting it up at the end of the bar

[Alex K @alexkleeeber]

Blog TO coming at ya with only the hardest hitting news stories https://t.co/1OiqUhSgUs

[OBVIOUS SHIRTS® @obvious_shirts]

🔥GIVEAWAY🔥 Retweet with #str0show to enter! Picking 3 people to win their choice of shirt. Must be following @obvious_shirts to win. Winners picked Wednesday at 7pm.

[Alex K @alexkleeeber]

@SouthwestAir I understand that flights get canceled and things happen, but when you cancel the three last flights to the same city and have limited staff (2) to help rebook all of those customers, you’re really missing the mark

[Alex K @alexkleeeber]

@_nnirror_ Also bye bye spotted cow 😢

[Alex K @alexkleeeber]

ANTHONY RIZZO!!!!!

[Michael Cerami @Michael_Cerami]

Okay I did not catch this last night 😂

[OBVIOUS SHIRTS® @obvious_shirts]

🔥FREE STUFF🔥Because he’s the man, Andrew Chafin wants to giveaway a signed “THE SHERIFF” Obvious Shirt! To enter: Retweet and follow @BigCountry1739 and @obvious_shirts. Winners announced Wednesday at 6pm!

[Alex K @alexkleeeber]

Within the baselines anything can happen. Tides can reverse; oceans can open. That’s why they say, ‘The game is never over until the last man is out.’ Colors can change, lives can alter, anything is possible in this gentle, flawless, loving game. - WP Kinsella Happy Opening Day!

[Alex K @alexkleeeber]

Happy Opening Day!

[B/R Gridiron @brgridiron]

Mitch Trubisky is the first QB ever to change teams after winning the NVP award

[Robert Mays @robertmays]

Some thoughts: The Bears trading a 4th-round pick and giving $20 million guaranteed to Nick Foles when Andy Dalton was available in FA only to sign Andy Dalton a year later — with Foles still on the roster — is objectively hilarious.