Alexus Bird

Who gon’ check me boo?

[Alexus Bird @alexusbird]

Overheard conversations in the airport: "why can't you forgive me for having the baby?? I forgave you for stabbing me!"

[Sarah Mikal @NetflixFunny]

“You can’t choose who you like!” Yes, but

You CAN choose who you hurt.
You CAN choose how you’ll ACT.

You’re 35.

#SummerHouse

[Mehdi Hasan @mehdirhasan]

We’re governed by fucking morons

[Kate @Katiemoneygrabz]

Used to work at Barstool? Has kids????

[Barstool Spring Break @barstoolspringb]

Meanwhile Ella:

[Pat @BarstoolPAT]

.@ella_grif really is the 🐐. Just throwing that ass in a goddamn circle middle of the day. What a legend https://t.co/slBRqrAkCv

[🎨Artsy M*rxist 🎨 (commissions closed) @ArtsyMarx1st]

thats exactly whats gonna happen

[Comrade Misty is Putin’s Buddy @SarcasmStardust]

I am beyond sick of people who loudly supported Trump saying this shit. Yes. You absolutely DID campaign for this. You absolutely DID vote for this. So sick of the geegollygosh who could’ve possibly seen this coming. As if Trump wasn’t loud and proud about the kind of scumbag he is. As if it weren’t blatantly obvious that this is where we were headed. Take some fucking accountability. You supported this. You voted for it. You lied to and gaslit other people and encouraged them to also support it. Own it.

[Emily Murphy @emmmilymurphy]

Emma’s Sister’s kids watching Love is Blind Season 10 Episode 9

#LoveIsBlind #LoveIsBlindS10

[Danny LoPriore @DannyLoPriore]

This guy lives in Puerto Rico btw.

[Brian Stelter @brianstelter]

"Instead, Benito chose something far more powerful: a celebration of Latino identity as it actually lives and breathes in the United States, and in AMERICA."

[🍃🍓🌸Mercy🌸🍓🍃 @glowin_melanin]

Thank you Stephen Colletti for having the heart to say this. Kindness doesn’t cost much, even in a cutthroat game. I think some celebs use Traitors as an excuse to be their worst self towards others under the guise of “it’s just a game🙄” Like pls #TheTraitorsUS #TheTraitors

[the life of a writer girl ✨ @brisversion_]

breaking: woman doing her job while husband does his

[ale 💐🌱🍅🐞🪲 @aletoowelll]

if i’m ever elected into office, i will be sworn in on a copy of the tortured poets department and you can’t stop me

[Luiza Jarovsky, PhD @LuizaJarovsky]

I see no lies here

[Daily Loud @DailyLoud]

A kid wished for a PS5 all year and ended up opening just a controller. He stayed grateful and humble anyway — and that’s when they surprised him with an actual PS5 🎁🎉

[Variety @Variety]

#HeatedRivalry author Rachel Reid offers an update on her Parkinson's diagnosis and says the show's success is helping her fight the disease:

“It’s making it hard to write because I can barely control a mouse. I can’t type for very long. It’s hard for me to sit in a chair for very long. I need to figure out new ways to write. I don’t know if that will be voice to text. I don’t know if I can write that way. It doesn’t feel natural, but I need to figure out something because it is taking me a very long time to write now. But an amazing thing that’s come out of this though is Jacob was on CNN a few weeks ago. For whatever reason, the interviewer asked him about my Parkinson’s diagnosis. I thought it was kind of odd, but then the next day, one of the top Parkinson’s experts in the world reached out to me and asked if he could help me. I’ve never gotten to talk to a Parkinson’s expert. I’ve been on a five-year waiting list here because I live in a very small place. Now he’s found me a Parkinson’s expert, a neurologist, and I have an appointment in a couple weeks. That could change things for me because I’m not really getting the treatment that I should be getting. He also told me how to change my medication so I can sleep because I never slept. That change made me sleep through the night, which really helps with writing.”

Read more here: https://t.co/bL1dHEgGbH

[Joe @JoePostingg]

"My coworker was super cordial until I kind of sort of tried to murder them" is genuinely a very funny thing to complain about

[Adrienne thee Creative | Experience Curator @brownandbella]

Why is it insane? Seems like everyone got a choice and YOU are the only parent who chose differently. What could possibly be the issue? You needed back up? Scared to stand alone? Or really it’s that your kid felt like a weirdo bc of YOU and now you can’t stand the heat?

[𝓔𝓶 ♡ @emkenobi]

Australia enacted gun control laws in 1996 after 35 people were killed in a shooting. It only took ONE shooting for politicians to protect their citizens and implement gun control. They immediately saw a sharp decline in homicide and suicide rates via guns. This is the first mass shooting Australia has had in decades.

Since 2014 almost SIX THOUSAND people have died from mass shootings in the US. Don’t you dare use this tragedy to try and insinuate gun control does not work. More guns is never the solution.

[sarah @fangirlfornfl]

just keep it in your pants and you wouldn’t have problems?????

Stop blaming women for being pretty

Self Control at an ALL TIME LOW