Alyson Farm

I'm not good at advice but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

[m. @moseason_]

Only lames be hollering about they’ll never come to Chicago because they don’t want to be killed. Nobody is coming to kill you while you take selfies at The Bean, Sharon. Lame ass.

[𝟒𝟒𝟒 @DEUILSTEARS444]

i am the way i am because i went insane at 13

[ً @artfuIchaos]

I be saying “babe” platonically and “bro” romantically you can’t save me.

[Big Timi @OrevaZSN]

I accidentally said “Let’s take this outside” instead of “Let’s take this offline” during a Teams meeting today. Now I’m pretty sure I have to fight everyone in the parking lot at 4pm.

[Neet @neet_sol]

nothing gets you more fired up for a 5 day work week like spending your weekend doing laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, and everything else you didn’t have time for during the week

[🅿️ @the_P_God]

When I order the Sancerre instead of the house wine

[Lisa @lisathebeauty1]

“Are u okay?” No it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

It's amazing how much you can accomplish around the house under the threat of someone coming over.

[poppa @popitforpoppa]

"you’re soooo funnyyy"

thanks they used to put my desk in the hallway

[Buzzing Pop @BuzzingPop]

Jude Bellingham and Erling Haaland share a sweet moment at the World Cup quarter-final between England and Norway.

[b @wwxwashere]

if you catch your girl smiling at her phone it’s not because she’s cheating, she’s just watching haaland/bellingham edits 🙏

[bailey meyers @baileymeyers]

if my friends made me listen to vows for a full 40 minutes i think i would’ve burned the venue to the ground

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

Why is it ‘cancelled’ in the U.K. but ‘canceled’ in the U.S.?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

[Integrity Guy @Integrity_Freak]

No ma’am, I don’t have a boarding pass. I’m simply here to enjoy the world famous dining and nightlife at O’Hare International Airport

[🥀 @buckethatlando]

It’s been so long I’ve forgotten the rules of formula 1

[Atharva @bruh_tharva]

My mom asked me if the dishes were done, I turned to her and said "Max Verstappen".

She smiled, she knew they were washed

[Mercedes-AMG PETRONAS F1 Team @MercedesAMGF1]

When Toto spots a Mercedes 1-2...3?

[taylia¹ #CUT4LANDO @here4lando]

patiently waiting for thursday and friday

[Alexis Littlefoot - The Big Flexer💲 @YungLittlefoot]

WHY WAS JESSICA ALBA STANDING ON THE WALL DURING THE DANCE SCENE LIKE SHE NOT HONEY DANIELS?!?!?!?