Alfred Lua

Building Fernsage (a digital commonplace book) and writing weekly newsletters for hands-on dads

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

AI can never do this

"Would you rather be smart or kind?"

Many years ago, the startup I was at had all the employees do a personality quiz. I thought the answer to this question was obviously “to be kind.” But when we...

https://t.co/F2qE1Cqqr7

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

You will wish you started this earlier

We are constantly losing our children. One day they are learning to crawl and babble. The next day they are running around and loudly proclaiming "I love you!"

I...

https://t.co/EuApYf3qKU

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

Hanging up my bike

Hello fellow dads! Just a week after HFMD, my daughter is sick again. Argh. I instinctively felt annoyed at the disruption and wanted to complain about how unfair it is. I didn't like that gut reaction,...

https://t.co/vlum7nu6uS

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

You will miss this morning madness

Every parent knows the morning madness. You are trying to rush out of the house but your children just don’t cooperate. The more you nudge them, the slower they move....

https://t.co/zuex7irRQQ

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

Learning never stops

My dad had an employee who refused to learn about new products at the car workshop. "The more I learn, the more you will ask me to do," he argued. My dad didn't keep him for long.

Even at 67, my...

https://t.co/vsdtTzImDG

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

Miserable events, fond memories

Among outdoor adventurers, there's a framework called The Fun Scale.

- Type 1 fun: Enjoyable while it's happening.
- Type 2 fun: Miserable while it's happening, but fun in...

https://t.co/WTJQSX9ZFk

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

Children need models more than they need critics

“Children need models more than they need critics.”
— Joseph Joubert (French moralist and essayist)

It is easy to fall into the trap of...

https://t.co/uTv2gIYSfq

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

You have to do the work yourself

Calvisius Sabinus was a rich Roman who desired to appear learned without doing the actual mental work. So he devised a shortcut to learning: He bought educated slaves at high...

https://t.co/TYbcDr5Pj4

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

We are constantly losing our children

My wife and I often look at photos of our firstborn when he was the age of his little sister. It hit us that he will never be that age again. And then the second...

https://t.co/j1IunJVWjq

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

The child in me shaped the parent I am

<figure>

<figcaption>Reading to my son</figcaption>
</figure>

Three years ago, when the nurse pushed my son into my wife's ward for the very first time, she casually told me he...

https://t.co/MVQvFbHkRH

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

A little fellow follows me

When legendary basketball coach John Wooden's son was born, a friend sent him a framed picture with the following poem:

“A Little Fellow Follows Me

A careful man I want to be,
A...

https://t.co/lhUY13wtV2

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

We choose how we want to remember it

I dropped my work for 10 days because my kids had HFMD. During that period, I struggled with looking after sick kids and with neglecting my work. To keep myself sane...

https://t.co/O9hzGsHLeA

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

Pick up the pen

How will kids growing up in the age of AI think and learn?

As a father of two, I often ponder this. I grew up with, fell in love with, and became reliant on the internet and apps—sometimes a little too much....

https://t.co/foVqdxtaJe

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

The optimists

During the Vietnam War, Admiral James Stockdale was imprisoned and tortured for over seven years. He was eventually released in 1973. When asked who didn’t survive the war camps, he said:

> The optimists. Oh,...

https://t.co/SJcx4aB9kZ

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

Don't search for silver bullets

> 欲速则不达
>
> Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly
>
> — Confucius, Analects 13.17

I struggled with how long my son takes to fall asleep, even...

https://t.co/4JzLXm96O3

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

Create like a kid

Adults have preconceived notions of many things. An essay has to be this long; a video must have that structure; X app needs to have Y feature. Unfortunately, most of these are subconscious and hinder our...

https://t.co/uIC30wKm7u

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

This ancient practice is keeping me sane through double HFMD

> What's worse than a kid having HFMD?
> Two kids having HFMD.
>
> — Me, a dad

I looked up at the clock. It was only 8:30 am. My kids had been up for three hours,...

https://t.co/IsqgoqNRYo

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

Keep writing

When The Vegetable (1923) failed terribly, F. Scott Fitzgerald declared to Maxwell Perkins, his editor at Charles Scribner’s Sons, “I doubt if, after all, I’ll ever write anything again worth putting in print.” 17...

https://t.co/WlyV0vNbA2

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

Make it easy to start

The first step of any creative project is often the hardest. You want to publish but worry that your essays will be bad. You dream of creating vlogs but are afraid that your videos will be cringe....

https://t.co/3I1eI8hKbE

[Alfred Lua @alfred_lua]

Gym as life

I recently went back to the gym after a year off. I became very self-conscious, even though I have lifted for almost 20 years. Are people looking at me? They are lifting much more weight than me, so they must be more...

https://t.co/UKv6oz1Vdn