Crispy Bitch™️

Airfryer Stan account // she/her

[Ben Cohen @YoBenCohen]

After 47 years, Jerry has made the difficult decision to step down from the company we built together. I’m sharing his words as he resigns from Ben & Jerry’s. His legacy deserves to be true to our values, not silenced by @MagnumGlobal #FreeBenAndJerrys

[Crispy Bitch™️ @ali_roselli]

They are one and the same

[Damon Evans @AD_DamonEvans]

Congratulations to our Dec. 2022 Terp of the Month, @Ana_Siravo! Ana has done an amazing job handling our graphic design requests, taking on hundreds of tasks with ideating and executing design. Ana has a positive, warm, can-do attitude and #OneMaryland spirit. Congrats, Ana!

[Cincinnati Zoo @CincinnatiZoo]

Keep watching! It's worth the wait! 🦛 Fiona is such a good big sister! #TeamFiona

[Higgybaby @TheHiggybaby]

PARENTS, please check your kids candy this Halloween. I just found the One Ring forged in secret in the fires of Mount Doom, which the Dark Lord Sauron poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all life.

[Crispy Bitch™️ @ali_roselli]

.@lindssbrownn

[the hype @TheHyyyype]

guy who's addicted to lunch: [biting into a sandwich at 8:30 am] hey, it's 12 pm somewhere

[the hype @TheHyyyype]

guy who's addicted to lunch: [biting into a sandwich at 8:30 am] hey, it's 12 pm somewhere

[Crispy Bitch™️ @ali_roselli]

The government literally shut off the internet on the entire island to keep their citizens from protesting, but sure let’s keep pretending Cuba is a socialist’s wet dream.

[Jasmine 🌌🔭 @astro_jaz]

Tomorrow, an incredibly rare, once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event is happening! Jupiter will be its closest to Earth since 1963! Along with opposition, it’ll be SO bright, you’ll be able to see its bands and some moons just with binoculars!
This won’t happen again until 2129!

[Big Tucson Dad @BigTucsonDad]

When someone says my cat isn’t the cutest little guy to ever exist

[Crispy Bitch™️ @ali_roselli]

I’m really funny on Twitter in my head, which I guess counts for something

[gigi @420insidejob]

i would do absolutely anything for my friends except answer their text messages

[anna 🏹 @myelessar]

AND THEN THE HOBBITS TRY TO BOW BEFORE ARAGORN AND ARWEN BUT ARAGORN STOPS THEM AND SAYS “MY FRIENDS, YOU BOW TO NO ONE” AND EVERYONE IN MINAS TIRITH BOWS FOR THE HOBBITS

[juju 💰 @ayeejuju]

girls go on twitter for 5 minutes just to retweet everything they see and leave

[Robin Tran 🏳️‍⚧️ @robintran04]

Fireworks are very American because they fuck up soldiers with PTSD while claiming to honor them

[Crispy Bitch™️ @ali_roselli]

@bodegahoagie I prefer apple juice and pretzels

[َ @ungodlywests]

DUA GET DOWN LIKE THAT??

[Crispy Bitch™️ @ali_roselli]

Me: *has a headache* Vecna must be after me
Also Me: *only drinks 1 glass of water all day*

[Crispy Bitch™️ @ali_roselli]

@garygibson_ It’s true