Allison Keiley

You may notice that I only use Twitter for inside jokes & conversations with about 2-3 friends and my brother. Highly effective.

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@reynoldstop20 Oh, yeah, I totally forgot to tweet my joke: where's the real bean town? Because it's sure not Boston.

[Allison Keiley @alkat]

Boston area grocery stores do not know where to put beans. At one store, there are only some in the aisle marked "Beans" (it's reserved for canned Boston Baked only); beans, both canned and dried, are in "Canned Vegetables" there. At another, they are in "Rice & Ethnic Cuisine".

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@arfeldman Your friendship can be salvaged if you confirm they use the 3:1 powder to soda ratio! (I know this because I too have had to do it in a pinch 😱). https://t.co/7jKN0VaxE6

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@arfeldman I love that word!

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@arfeldman Wait, why is “estate sale” in quotes?!

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“What’re you gonna do, make old cake?” My father, overhearing me show my mother a second hand bundt pan I recently bought.

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Yesterday I got c̶a̶t̶ hat called: a woman my age rolled down her window while letting me cross the street to shout at me that she liked my hat.

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An hour and twenty minutes at 1:20 am waiting for a gate crew at @BostonLogan: how many consolation Sun Chips can one woman eat?

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@arfeldman Live from Amtrak: “DO NOT STORE ITEMS IN THIS AREA.”

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Why did it take Harry and Sally 18 hours to get to New York from Chicago?

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Only tweeting my Wordle today because 😐

Wordle 369 3/6

⬜🟩⬜🟩⬜
⬜⬜🟩⬜⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

[Allison Keiley @alkat]

I hope the former college interns to whom I had to explain Kate Bush in 2012 are also reveling in the time honored tradition of elder millennial/Gen X smugness about music.

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Hi, @NYPD72Pct , your cruisers are always illegally parked in the no parking zones on 4th Ave specifically meant to be clear to prevent driver/cyclist blind spots for cars turning though the protected bike lane. Sincerely, a terrified cyclist/neighbor.

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@arfeldman Tonight, in the span of about 17 minutes, I made and ate Trader Joe’s sweet potato gnocchi that had been in the freezer for at least 2 yrs, with weeks old cherry tomatoes, radicchio, and chicken sausage.

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@reynoldstop20 @chaherne @flight404 Lol I’m an elder millennial and I hardly tweet, so I forgot what I thought was a discreet reply to my business partner is on the feed 🥴

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Memorializing Joan Didion, whose writing I love, by remembering that I wrote this embarrassing homage for my college newspaper column in 2004 not long after I read her work for the first time. https://t.co/FwekfAX5Si

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Tonight’s episode of @succession co-starred (in an uncredited role) software our company built for @TheShedNY.

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Huh, I always thought it was “Do you remember / When it was la-hike September?”