Allen Ball

Oilers Raptors and Jays fan like to laugh and live life large

[Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports]

One of the most jarring things about adulthood is the realization of how many truly incompetent people are in the most important jobs. When I was a kid, I just assumed everyone “important” was smart or they wouldn’t be important. Boy, was that fucking wrong.

[Kevin McCurdy @KevinMcCurdy]

I've been pondering this since my comments in real time to the trades. Let me make sure I've got this straight:

- Moved Nurse and his contract to SJS for Mukhamadullin and Zach Sharp
- Moved out a 3rd in 2028 for Devon Levi and a 2028 7th
- Signed Ryan Shea to 5x$4M. (This is a sneaky good get)
- Re-signed Kasperi Kapanen to 1x$2.4M (slight overpay maybe, but I think that's ok given the other moves in context, term is absolutely correct)
- Re-signed Max Jones 1x$850k
- Signed Eduards Tralmaks 1 year 2-way $850K out of europe.
- Signed Frederik Anderson 1 year, $1M (possible up to $2.8M with bonuses, very good structure for the team with his injury history)
- Signed Mathieu Joeseph 1x$1M.

23 man roster, no retention spots used, and still $6.5M left to play with, absent any more subtractions, additions or sending people out to the minors.

In addition they have QO's out to Stastney, Dach, Jarventie (TBD), and Owen Michaels.

Every single one of these moves fills a need, moves money, gains assets or otherwise seems like a move a smart team would make, the only one even remotely risky is Kapanen, and he earned that paycheque for his playoffs alone. That's a risk I'd also take if I was in the chair.

Stan Bowman takes a lot of shit around here (including occasionally from me) but it would be absolutely obtuse of me to say Stan did anything but cook today. Incredibly tidy, methodical work, I am super impressed, and I rarely am impressed these days.

I'm not sure there's a team that did better but the Oilers would be very near the top of the "W column" for free agent frenzy. Unbelievable.

[Amrit Singh @AmritSi73593678]

क्या आप ऐसी जगह जाने की हिम्मत करेंगे?

[NHL @NHL]

Things we love to see ⤵️

@LewisHamilton rocking a @CanadiensMTL hat! 🔵⚪️🔴

(📸: @LewisHamilton)

[guyfelicella🇨🇦🍁 @guyfelicella]

Canada:
“I sent the money.”
“Got it.”

America:
“Download these 4 apps and wait 3 business days.” 🇨🇦🤣

Nothing better than Etransfer.

[𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 - 𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞 - 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞⭐️❤️ @NgocThach74]

🎶I can't believe I never realized how good Steven would sound singing Beatles songs!! Just amazing, he fits the songs perfectly and adds his unique style
Abbey Road Medley (Paul McCartney Tribute) - Steven Tyler

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

Oh this is fucking hilarious. 😂

[Pinkglitch404 @Pinkglitch404]

I can't stop laughing 😆

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

Too on point not to share, “Aussie reply to Trump rant about NATO not being there for us.

Mate. You run a country with 600,000 homeless people sleeping on the street tonight. A country where 40% of adults can't cover a $400 emergency without borrowing money. A country where insulin costs more than a car payment and people are rationing it to survive. A country where medical debt is the number 1 cause of bankruptcy. A country where women are dying in hospital car parks because doctors are too scared of abortion laws to treat a miscarriage.
You lock up more of your own citizens than any nation on earth. More than China. More than Russia. More than North Korea. The land of the free has 2 million people in cages, and a quarter of them haven't even been convicted of anything. They're just too poor to make bail.
Your life expectancy is going backwards. You're the only developed nation where that's happening. Your infant mortality rate is worse than Cuba's. Your kids do active shooter drills between maths and English while you sell the gunmaker's stock to your mates.
Your minimum wage hasn't moved in 15 years. You've got teachers working 2 jobs and veterans sleeping under bridges and you just spent a trillion dollars flattening a country that didn't attack you.
And you’ve got a convicted felon, adjudicating raping, paedophile protecting, porn star shagging insurrectionist running the biggest dumpster fire war campaign since the Taliban thanked you very much for losing again.
And you're calling Greenland poorly run?
Greenland has universal healthcare. Free education. One of the lowest incarceration rates in the world. Nobody goes bankrupt there because they got sick. Nobody dies in a waiting room because their insurance said no.
"NATO wasn't there when we needed them." When exactly was that, champ? September 11? Because NATO invoked Article 5 for the first and only time in history FOR YOU. Soldiers from dozens of countries deployed, fought, bled, and died in Afghanistan FOR YOU. Australia wasn't even in NATO and we still showed up. For 20 years.
And you pulled out at 2am without telling anyone and left them to deal with the mess.
So maybe before you start calling other countries poorly run, have a look at your own backyard, you spray-tanned aluminium siding salesman. The only thing poorly run in this picture is your fucking mouth. Credit (borrowed from) Jim Scroggins - original author 📷 unknown”

[Faka001🦅 @Fakaofwest1]

Being black is underrated, the most I’ll get from being under the sun is sweat 😂😂

[Jake @JakeCan72]

Signs of the times…

A guy reading store signs with typos so bad they loop back around to genius:

“Ho Made Apple Butter”

“Carpet Your Whole for Only $99”

“All Shoplifters Will Be Prostituted”

These signs are a national treasure.

[VisuallyBetter @Isuckatpicking]

Apparently Donald Trump has been declared Brain Dead by doctors at Walter Reed Medical Center.

He should be back to work on Monday.

[Tawadotcom @Tawadotcom]

Kitchen disaster scene 🤣😂

[Stellar @StellarArtoisGB]

When you have a really great stick but you know Dad is coming for it!🤣🤣🤣

[Harri @Harriwxu3]

There seems to be something wrong with your eyebrows🤣

[NRM84 @Mappy6984]

Wow 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Alex Cole @acnewsitics]

What Trump & MAGA don't seem to understand is that NATO comes to your aid (like 9/11) when you're attacked, not when you do the attacking. These people are damn idiots.

[Ski Life @powderski]

⛷️In 1997 ‘Harvest Jeremy Nobis skied Pyramid and did the turn famously recognized as “The turn that changed the world”.