alli b.

writer and city dweller who swears too much, sleeps too little, and often smells like dessert.

[alli b. @allib]

@lawrenceswiader every time I write about Greece, it's an homage to you and your fam. Ευτυχισμένο το νέο έτος!

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@lrmann Acupuncture. 2 wks out, it fixed a gnarly shoulder injury enough to get me through a half marathon. Good luck! Stay well. Run swift.

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If I was a gambling woman, I'd wager that you did not have to use the words "uterus piñata" in a work document today. But I sure did.

[alli b. @allib]

I've arrived.

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@maggiemight Wishing you good luck and much joy in the new endeavor

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@jhelmus They're testing it over a few weekends: http://t.co/wyEEGXeXUs

[alli b. @allib]

Lombard St closure brings eerie calm. No tourist fistfights or honking at nothing. No burnt clutch fumes. It’s not summer w/out burnt clutch

[alli b. @allib]

@drakejenn @lrmann I'm late to the conversation, but if it involves you two and fish tacos, I'll wordsmith whatever you want.

[alli b. @allib]

My mom, while trying to show off her tech prowess, keeps pronouncing URL = Eurail. I don't know whether to laugh or hop a train to Amsterdam

[alli b. @allib]

Digressing and confessing.

[alli b. @allib]

@lawrenceswiader Re: StarTrek When I'm in DC I'll tell you about the time @WilliamShatner yelled at me when I was 12 on the set of TJ Hooker

[alli b. @allib]

An acupuncturist, a copywriter, and a high school admissions counselor walk into an Ikea. For real. It takes three to carry home a Fjell.

[alli b. @allib]

Gave 5 yr old her 1st Where’s Waldo book & provoked the same intensity/stress I had taking the GRE. How many My Little Ponies will fix this?

[alli b. @allib]

@jhelmus You post soccer stats and 2900 miles away I walk into my closet and put on this hoodie. Such influence.

[alli b. @allib]

Can't sleep.Make tea.Open laptop. Brain shocked awake by pic of baby tortoise wearing a raspberry. Realize it's fallacious. Curse the night.

[alli b. @allib]

@mkatrick Guess that's what it smells like when your neighbors are cooking sizzurp.

[alli b. @allib]

@mkatrick writes about sharks and sounds erudite. I write a promo for a group dive and make fun of the reassuring “anti-shark cage” #badchum

[alli b. @allib]

@maringuy I can't take it any more. I'll pay to have that dog cloned if you're willing to part with a little DNA.

[alli b. @allib]

Physical therapist wailed on my tibialis anterior until I cried, then told me Keanu Reeves is my spirit animal. Best. Day. Never.

[alli b. @allib]

May it be the first of many, @lawrenceswiader! (Quoted in the @nytimes Using Humor to Talk About Birth Control http://t.co/R3rdtfp8xr)