your pal al

Saturn’s 54th moon

[Alex @_alex_joshua]

Inside of you there are two lions

And they're both lost in a cornfield in Indiana

[Pope Leo XIV @Pontifex]

The world does not need an artificial intelligence that diminishes humanity; rather, it needs human intelligence enlightened by wisdom, political authority guided by conscience and technological innovation directed by charity. Only then will artificial intelligence become not a rival to humanity but a servant of the common good.

[Lauren Rinaldi 🧚‍♀️ @LRinaldiArt]

My president pedo
My soccer team not good
My cream cheese chive
Is Mitch McConnell alive

[mary @elaine_stritch]

i saw goody proctor using ai

[Joanna Robinson @jowrotethis]

I’ve still never used ChatGPT. It’s unbelievably easy not to.

[Eric Michael Garcia @EricMGarcia]

The last thing you see before opening ChatGPT

[Tyler Roney @TylerJRoney]

It’s that time of the year when a Midwesterner sees the current temperature outside is 75° but stop to question whether that’s 75° in a 90° way or 75° in a 60° way.

[Joanna Robinson @jowrotethis]

There’s a time as we age where we must decide where we draw the line in adapting new slang and I’ve drawn it at “maxxing” and “mogging.”

[chris evans @notcapnamerica]

BITCH WE DONT EITHER

[Reptolord🦖 @Reptolord]

Americans will do anything to avoid using the metric system

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Good morning to all my haters
And good afternoon to all my haters in Europe

[Pope Leo XIV @Pontifex]

This is our God: Jesus, King of Peace, who rejects war, whom no one can use to justify war. He does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war, but rejects them, saying: “Even though you make many prayers, I will not listen: your hands are full of blood” (Is 1:15).

[whalefact @awhalefact]

the whales will not be watching the new hbo harry potter show. you might think this is because very few whales watch any television at all, but it is actually because jk rowling is a terf ass bitch

[trash jones @jzux]

“zohran’s wife tweeted bad stuff at age 15” ok have you seen what the president of the United States is currently tweeting at age 79

[Butler Basketball @ButlerMBB]

Dawgs win! 🐶🏀

[fat dennings @sappharine]

“women’s worst fear is late marriage” mine is being on Jeopardy and the person Ken talks to before me has the most hilarious, quirky story and mine is mediocre

[Butler Basketball @ButlerMBB]

Dawgs win!

[derek guy @dieworkwear]

it's time to give that baby monkey a gun

[your pal al @alliekenney]

@JustTheTib At least you didn’t get a black eye I guess