Allison P

I like watching sports, reading, and playing golf. I’m terrible at keeping up with Twitter. She/her/hers.

[Allison P @allisonpoz]

Whoever named them kale chips instead of roasted kale, probably had a kid who wouldn’t eat vegetables but would eat chips.

[Dylan O'Sullivan @DylanoA4]

C. S. Lewis, you just live

[Allison P @allisonpoz]

Maersk is literally the only container shipping company I could name off the top of my head. I’m real close to starting to stockpile essentials. 😬

[Morgan Cameron Ross @Morgan_C_Ross]

15% of American adults take or have taken Ozempic. Denmark is considering blocking all sales to America - as well as Lego and access to Maersk shipping - which accounts for 15% of global shipping. Surprisingly good leverage for a small little country.

[Allison P @allisonpoz]

All this fuss about AI and yet the algorithms can’t figure out that weather forecast posts from 3-5 days ago should not show up in my feed.

[Allison P @allisonpoz]

@traecrowder Well, now I know my New Year’s resolution 😂

[Tim Buckley @TimBuckleyWX]

If you think you have a Friday-
Saturday Carolinas winter storm figured out on a Monday boy do I have news for you.

[Allison P @allisonpoz]

@Jeremy0333 @danae_hudlow I need to find where my copy of these ended up. Currently have one of my younger sibling’s sets that’s in the wrong order. Already told my 9 year old to ignore them numbers and read them in the order I have them lined up.

[Allison P @allisonpoz]

Today was the day! My #Wordle starter word was the word! (Now do I change my starter word??)

[Pop-Tarts Bowl @PopTartsBowl]

He is risen! #PopTartsBowl

[Allison P @allisonpoz]

As a white person, I didn’t believe when social media claimed that white people don’t use washcloths. But I’m staying at the house of a family of 4, and it appears that the 2 washcloths my spouse and I were given to use during our stay are the only 2 washcloths in the house.

[Allison P @allisonpoz]

@AnnaKrauthamer @doobydoobadooby At a job once, I assumed it was a standard white elephant and brought a gag gift. Everyone else brought nice things (alcohol and such). I was so embarrassed; I brought the recipient of my gift a gift card the next day.

[Allison P @allisonpoz]

Fascinating that people are answering as if this is a real plot hole and not just that’s it’s a good idea for a movie to not introduce the idea that the presents could come from somewhere else lest the children watching the movie think too closely about that possibility.

[🟡 The tumboy 🟡 @TheTumboy]

I never understood in movies like The Santa Clause or Elf where Santa exists, but parents don’t believe in him. Where do they think the presents come from?

[Allison P @allisonpoz]

@freganmitts You could literally write a horror movie about a world in which all the children are born needing basically no sleep while all the adults were still had to sleep every night. 😬

[Allison P @allisonpoz]

@Tbone7219 If you can get that many slices to melt before the bread burns, then I say, got for it.

[Allison P @allisonpoz]

Oh look someone who took a class in childhood psychology but has never potty trained a kid. Yeah I’m real concerned the child will never learn to go to the bathroom based on internal motivation 🙄

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

I hope the PhD lady got a chance to do something nice to celebrate, like perhaps having coffee in her garden with her spouse, or sharing a bowl of chili with her neighbours

[Allison P @allisonpoz]

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess this person does not have children.

[k ⋆⭒˚.⋆ @flygyalkel]

Re: time blindness, I always start getting ready two hours before an outing, I don’t delude myself into thinking I can be out the door in 30 minutes, even in scenarios where it’s 100% possible.

Better to be safe than sorry. I hate being late and holding others up.

[Allison P @allisonpoz]

@singingsox Add in chronic migraines, and you can spend half the weekend neither being productive nor enjoying yourself. 😑 Then delude yourself that someone how this week will be slow at work so you’ll find time to catch up on everything during the workday.

[Allison P @allisonpoz]

@Mpikanisi__

[Allison P @allisonpoz]

@Brian_Wedig @ChefReactions It’s part of the performance of it being an “easy dump and go” recipe. It’s the illusion of no prep cooking. No measuring! No chopping! (Just take twice as long to cut bacon individually with scissors instead of using a knife and cutting board 🤦🏻‍♀️)