Wimmy Jebb

Sometimes when I get bored I fill my bathtub up with marinara sauce and swim around in it like a lil meatball.

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

U.S. Men’s Curling Team Disqualified After Drug Test Reveals Obscene Levels Of Raw Masculinity https://t.co/TqWT0AJId9

[GoliathFan1952 @ByYourLogic]

swag men create dope times. dope times create dripless men. dripless men create fucked times. fucked times create swag men

[carmeb @therealcbrad]

Salt can’t be the only delicious rock. I’m going to eat rocks to find the good ones. I bet they’re trying to keep them from us

[Nan Yu @thenanyu]

guys, I've made a discovery

[thomas 🍌 @perfectsweeties]

so humiliating to be a grown adult drinking from a water fountain. little hydration booty sticking out behind u. no idea what to do with my eyes. stare like im having a war flashback? keep them closed like im enjoying it a bit too much? probably gonna choke when i stand up too

[cory @coolmathgame_]

doctor: i know we used to date but let’s keep this professional

her: ok, did i break anything

doctor: *throws x-rays on the ground* my fucking heart

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

YouTube Wins 2020 Teacher Of The Year Award https://t.co/gd2YAGYes9

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

youth pastor: you know who else was considered a daft punk

[fuckmarrywill.bsky.social @fuckmarrywill]

maybe i should check out this zoo

[Lil Sasquatch @lilsasquatch66]

Never Judge A Book By It’s Cover 🙌

[bobby wasabi @bobbyteriyaki]

tony hawk, mac miller, and steve irwin are the trifecta of white people that did it all correctly

[lu🥀 @hanleiarey]

did it work???

[Jared Wade @Jared_Wade]

Drinking alone last week
- depressing
- antisocial
- i "have a problem"

Drinking alone today at 11 am
- conscientious
- courageous
- saving your nana's life