Captain Snark

Two 40-something moms with whole bunch of kids, lots of sass and snark and fancy jobs. Twitter is our JAM!

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

#IStillDontUnderstand why people still care about the Kardashians?

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

@AlexaBliz_ Recycle bin

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

@TrevDon Brie

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

#coroNO

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

@Genius Biggie. Dre. Snoop. Eminem.

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

@audreypoling1 You guys are THE BEST!!

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

@trishayearwood my friend Sarah is having a baby! She would love for Garth to reveal the gender on stage in Pittsburgh this weekend! Help a sister out! @garthbrooks

[Introvert Life @IntrovertLiving]

For Christmas I will accept the following gifts:

-Alone time
-Books
-Peace and quiet
-A list of excuses to avoid going out
-Dogs
-The occasional meaningful conversation
-Text messages, no calls
-Netflix or other streaming subscriptions
-More books
-More dogs

Thanks in advance.

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

https://t.co/paNa3I0qlF @chelcielynnn

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

@chelcielynnn cash me outside how bout dat

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

#KindnessIn5Words carbs on carbs on carbs

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

#KindnessIn5Words you can have my snickers

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

#KindnessIn5Words offering me your only cookie

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

#HowToDealWithAnEx restraining order.

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

#HowToDealWithAnEx offer alcohol, they fail every time. #drunk

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

#HowToDealWithAnEx don't, just don't. 🖕🏽

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

#UnexpectedTurnOns beard oil. Every time.

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

#UnexpectedTurnOns Donald Trump in drag

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

#UnexpectedTurnOns someone else vacuuming

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

#UnexpectedTurnOns men who put clothes IN the laundry basket

[Captain Snark @allthesnark]

#YouCanTellALotAbout anyone by looking at their Netflix "because you watched ...."